My mum was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer 2 and a half years ago. She was told it was inoperable and incurable. She recieved chemo and radium over 2 years but since December has been solely on pallative care.
She did 5 weeks in a hospice, and returned home for 4 weeks.
Last week she returned to the hospice. My mum lives in Ireland, I have been in the UK for 10 years.
I was home with her last week and she expressed her emotions staying she feels like she is dying. She has never asked for a time frame. Her community nurse informed me she doesn't have long left, and wouldn't be surprised if she had passed in the next few weeks, but they can't give any clear indication.
I have come back to the UK to sort out sick leave from work so I could returned. Since coming back my mum has improved.
It's so hard to know what to do, do I stay in the UK work and keep paid leave until I know but risk not being with her at the end if she goes quickly? Or do I go home at trust instinct that it's near the end? Even though my dad and brother are more optimistic. I also don't want to panic people by them thinking I've come home as she's dying.
Need some advice on what to do!
Sorry you find yourself in this dilemma that I know many on here will recognize. Not infrequently things come down to a matter of simple finance about how long you can be away from your work.
With my dad I missed his passing by just a hour or so though actually when we saw him in the home he looked to be so a peace it was rather easier that when he was ill. With my mum she died totally our of the blue and was found by the carer the following morning. All these years later I cannot really say which felt easier.
Hopefully if you go or not you can keep in touch and perhaps that is the most important thing of all.
<<hugs>>
Steve
