Hi
not really sure what to do.
My dad had skin cancer initially on his ear after 3 operations his ear was fully removed. thinking his as then the end to his cancer story he developed a lump on his neck, turns out his cancer was now in his lymnodes in his neck. due to his age 82 and hhis health in general not being great they only offered radiotherapy (6 sessions).
jump forward 3 months and in january we were given the news that his cancer was terminal and he was looking at 6 months. the world seemed to stop and the disbelief was the initial feeling.
his world has now turned into a list of things to do for the final time, hospice appointments, DNR descisions, and the fer of teh unknown.
He wants to stay at home and is addiment that he doesnt want to end up in hospital.
For me i feel helpless and fighting every part of me to try and do the right things. i feel guilty if i dont speak to my parents but also at the same time it can feel like im just asking the same questions. Every day seems like an overwhelming wave of emotions and what if's. do i plan what to say at the funeral (but then how do you do that when he is still here), have you been the person he wanted me to be, have i made him proud etc
I know that is a lot but my head is just a mess and just about hanging on.
Thank you
Hi kp84
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
So sorry to hear about your dad, if must be hard thinking that the cancer had gone and then being pushed back on to him. With the other health issues you mention if can be more difficult to work out what treatment if any might be for the best.
For me my experience of cancer is with my wife. Something that really helped me was doing a living with less stress course with Maggies. It helped me to concentrate on the day to day issues since they were more than enough and the "what if's" and the rest were not helping me at all. There is a lot of information in Your feelings when someone has cancer in that being able to recognize the emotions and accept them as normal and valid can help to make them feel less overwhelming.
<<hugs>>
Steve
