Hi,
I'm completely new to this forum. In all honesty it's been tough since the end of December.
My partner was at A&E for stomach pains and after tests was told he had bowel cancer which had spread to his liver. That same day he was in surgery to have the blockage and cancer removed and fitted with a temporary stoma. To say that was a shock was an understatement. However, he recovered well from surgery and adapted to his new stoma (although he has said its uncomfortable and whoever designed it mustn't have worn one).
After a few weeks we had our first appointment with his oncologist in relation to his liver. Its not cureable and they cant operate on it as there are too many affected areas but can treat with chemo.
He had his first session of intense chemo last weekend and touch wood all seems ok in relation to side effects. I know we have a long road ahead of us and I'll be by his side every step of the way.
I guess I'm just struggling with how I feel emotionally. I'm strong in front of him but we have also cried together about what we're going through. I just struggle at times to know if I'm doing enough am I enough for him and does anyone have advice on coping? Or can anyone tell me I'm doing ok with all of this.
Sorry for the rambling message but I feeI need to reach out to those in a similar situation to me who may have some knowledge, wisdom or advice to share.
Hi LauraD85
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it informative and supportive.
My experience of cancer is via my wife who has Leiomyosarcoma, incurable from diagnosis but with chemo the doctors seem to have put it to sleep and with quite a lot of support we got to the stage of living with cancer rather than anything else.
I used to cry in the shower. When I was pointed at Your feelings when someone has cancer I was able to identify with quite a few of those feelings and start to accept them as natural and normal and that helped me to get to a point where perhaps they felt just a little bit less overwhelming.
I did a living with less stress course that I found quite helpful. I was doing a great job on "when" and "what if's" but that did not really do a lot to help either of us and actually impacted on our lives day to day. Then their were the conscious breathing exercises that can be quite helpful to me in relaxing but also when life decides to throw us a new curveball.
<<hugs>>
Steve
