Coping tips

zo95ar1 5 days ago

5 replies
20 subscribers
161 views

Hi all,

My grandmother was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer almost 4 years ago, unfortunately this moved to the bone etc.

She decided herself to decline all treatment apart from surgery, she won't even take any oral medication.

I'm just struggling at the moment to deal with her decisions as she has been getting quite poorly in hospital etc, she is having tests done but has refused to hear the results and that's fine as it's her choice but my grandfather really isn't dealing with any of it well (he doesn't agree with treatment either).

I'm just wondering does anyone have any tips on how to cope? (I know that's a really general question) I'm really struggling to support my mum with it at the moment and everyday it feels there is something new and as my family aren't dealing well and won't get help it's putting the pressure onto us and I just don't know how to function with it anymore and am struggling at work and home etc. I don't agree with all of the decisions that have been made and I just don't know what to say or do anymore. I feel like saying that I don't want to hear anymore about tests etc if my grandmother doesn't either but I don't want to be unfair.

Thanks in advance

JustSurviving 5 days ago

Hi zo95ar1

I’m so sorry you are going through this, I really wish that I could offer you some words of wisdom, but I will leave that to others who have been through similar. Just wanted to send you a hug so that you know that you aren’t alone xxx

zo95ar1 4 days ago in reply to JustSurviving

Hi JustSurviving thank you so much, really appreciate your words, sending hugs back xx

Fizz24 2 days ago

Hi , my mum is on palliative care and I'm in the same situation, I haven't always agreed with her care plan and no it's very frustrating as her daughter sitting back and letter her husband take charge with her care. Out of respect I'm being there for him as well as her. I understand your worries, it's very hard and there are no rule books of coping strategies. I am spending as much time as I can with my mum and just having time alone with her, we have decided it's now only immediate family can see her , so we can all can spend the last few moments with her. I don't know how long we have left. I think recognising that I cannot control the situation has helped me step back in my thoughts as it was driving mad. Just breathe and allow time for yourself during a difficult day. I find a walking with ear pods is good for me. I hope you find some time for you to reflect and regulate your emotions . It's certainly very hard and that's okay. X

zo95ar1 1 day ago in reply to Fizz24

Thanks so much, I'm sorry to hear that you are in the same situation. I have some airpods so will try walking with those in to switch off for a bit.

I think it will be helpful for me to remind myself that I am not in control of the situation so thank you for that.

Take care of yourself x

Fizz24 1 day ago in reply to zo95ar1

Yes it's very difficult when you can't control the situation. I am finding that very hard as well. Take care x

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