My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 small cell oesophageal cancer a few months ago, and is undergoing chemo. She has a few months to live.
I moved back to her house in Ireland to help care for her during the summer when she was diagnosed. This has been very tough but also very rewarding. My partner stayed in England.
One of my biggest problems is that my partner just doesn't seem to get it at all. This time is so precious and so limited, and it's extremely difficult to get my head around. My father also died suddenly two years ago.
She was initially very supportive, but has now decided that she feels that I have to be more present in our relationship, that she needs to be able to depend on me for support whenever, and to be able to tell me about her problems and negative things in her life.
I've explained to her in many different ways that I don't have the mental or emotional capacity to take on this extra weight, and so has our couples counsellor. She backs off for a while, but then quickly comes back with the same demands in different words
I'm at my wits end, and am also becoming hugely resentful of her insisting on taking up all of this energy during this really difficult time when I should be concentrating on my mum.
Do others have similar experiences? Thoughts on how best to handle the situation? Any and all suggestions would be great 
Hi John_G
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it as helpful and supportive as I have. I am Steve one of the community champions here. My experience with cancer is with my wife who has stable Leiomyosarcoma - so we live with cancer rather than anything else.
It can be very difficult trying to keep all the plates in the air for everyone and often the person who we most often overlook is ourselves - I know I have come close to breaking in the past and that really helped nobody.
You say your mum is in Ireland - I wonder if it might help you both to contact the Irish Cancer Society and see what support you and your mum might be able to get and hopefully that might help to take some of the weight and maybee make a bit of headroom to deal with your partner.
<<hugs>>
Steve
