Hi, my mum died fairly quickly and horribly from lung cancer 18 months ago. I still sometimes get horrible images going through my head from when she was dying and in pain. I had been working hard to replace these with good memories and pictures, then a few days ago a friend was told her cancer has spread into her lungs and it was like going back to remembering all the awful times with my mum. I really want to support my friend and have already been trying to help, but another part of me wants to just run away and not be involved, because it reminds me too much of my mum, who also had lung cancer, although hers was primary lung cancer. Am I normal? I feel this is selfish, but it's just how I am experiencing things. It's too upsetting to go back there again. It's not my closest friend, but we do know each other fairly well. It's not possible to run away and ignore it, as we are part of the same church and will see her and her husband regularly.
Hi Miss A welcome to the forum though I am sorry to hear about the death of your mum and what is happening tight now for your friend. First things first yes you are perfectly normal feeling and thinking as you do..Your friends illness has triggered feelings for you of a sad time in your life and taking you back to a place you don't want to revisit and all of that is perfectly OK. I think you try and do what you have done but you also keep your distance to give you time to process whst this situation raises for you.Its known as self preservation and we don't always use it often enough. Cut yourself some slack and only do what feels OK for you..Sending hugs 
Gail x
