We got the news around a month ago that my Sister has Colorectal cancer and that it has spread to the liver and is not going to be curable.
She started chemo 2 weeks ago and was due to have the second treatment tomorrow but has been postponed as she isn't well enough.
Her abdomen has swollen so much from the liver and she's constantly uncomfortable and in pain, is there any coming back from this?
I'm so scared that i'm going to lose her, she's my best friend, we do everything together, we live together and even work at the same place. I just can't lose her.
It feels like everytime we see a doctor the news gets worse and i'm struggling to keep hold of any hope.
I hear so many miracle stories and I have to believe she'll be one of them but i'm struggling to watch her deteriorate so quickly.
I can't help but blame the NHS for this, she's had Crohns disease for around 15 years and went 9 years without a colonoscpy despite having multiple flare ups. How was this allowed? If this had been caught earlier she wouldn't be in this position now. I know theres no point in what if's but it just doesn't seem right.
Hi Fearless7 and a wtarm welcome to our community, I hope you find it useful.
Sorry to hear about your sister, it is never easy when a treatment gets postponed, the though that we should be doing something is a challenge.
I know I found it easy when my wife was diagnosed to drift into anticipatory grief though as I discovered that was neither helping me or Janice. I ended up doing a living with less stress course that really helped me, the mindfulness element helped me deal with issues on a day to day basis and appreciate what we have. Conscious breathing exercises helped me deal with when life throws us another curveball but were also helpful for me in relaxing and getting some sleep.
I recognize a lot of what I went through in your feelings when someone has cancer and I found if powerful to be able to recongise the emotions and accept them as valid as it helped to keep me in some kind of control rather than the emotions being overwhelming. Many carers find it helpful to take some time for themselves if they want to be the best for the one they love.
Even before Janice was formally diagnosed she did have something of a NHS inspired health emergency. Fortunately she recovered but then contacted PALS and made a complaint - that was an interesting process although perhaps not as helpful as we might have wished. Now however we are more aware of speaking up when something is wrong and PALS can help in many circumstances before things come to the complaint stage.
<<hugs>>
Steve
