Ovarian Cancer Diagnosis

Hi Jozyb and a warm welcome to our community.

My experience with cancer is with my wife, she was diagnosed with Leiomyosarcoma over 10 years ago but in her case after 2 different chemotherapies her cancer is stable and living with cancer is sort of ok.

If we look at Your feelings when someone has cancer I know I recognize a lot of things I went through - that feeling of having to be brave is really very common. 

I ended up doing a living with less stress course with Maggies that really helped me. Firstly I learnt to live day to day rather than trying to plan how I could cope in that horried black future I imagined - that helped me appreciate what we have. The conscious breathing techniques are great for dealing with issues when live decides to throw us another curveball but also helpful in general relaxation too.

Do post on here whenever and remember if it helps you are more than welcome to speak to the helpline too - I have certainly cried at them in the past and they are very helpful - sometimes just getting the words out can help.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Oh Joyzb, I feel for you. I was exactly where you are now 18 months ago when my daughter was diagnosed with a rare and aggressive breast cancer. I was beyond devastated, so worried about my daughter and constantly guilty for feeling sorry for myself. I couldn't talk to anyone about it for the first few months - I really just wanted to shut the two of us away and pretend it wasn't happening.

18 months on, I am in a different place. Daughter had 8 brutal chemo cycles, 3 surgeries, 15 days of radiotherapy and is now coming to the end of a further 14 chemo cycles.  

I do still have very low days, but somehow it has all become our 'new normal'. We try really hard to focus on the present - if she's having a good few days, we always do something nice, however small - the cinema, lunch in a coffee shop, a walk in the park. It helps. 

I'm semi retired and have also now picked up some of the threads of my normal life...meeting friends for a walk and coffee, craft group, etc. I felt guilty at first but it really does build the resilience and strength you need to support your daughter.

This is the hardest thing that can happen to a parent - I know. But you will cope. Sending love, strength and the biggest hug. x

Hi Jozyb 

I had a very similar cancer experience to your daughter in my early 20s, and am going through a recurrence at the moment. I can tell my mum is definitely going through all these feelings you are describing. 

For me, I wanted her to know that she could still talk to me about her feelings. There was a certain comfort knowing that it wasn’t me going through it alone, but most importantly because everyone was honest about their feelings, I felt comfortable talking about my own? 

only you know what works for your family, but my number one tip is not to bottle it up. A brave face is a wonderful kindness and a testament to your dedication to your family, but do not feel guilty for your own struggle! Or ashamed of telling others honestly. 

Is there someone else in the family who you could speak to perhaps? 

keep well

Lake x