Hi all,
I'm here seeking emotional support and guidance.
My best friend since university was diagnosed with Melanoma from a mole on her foot, 3 days before her 30th birthday. I distinctly remember the surreal birthday celebrations, sat in the back of a taxi on our way to a restaurant saying "well if 50% of people get cancer, maybe this is your "lot", you'll get the mole removed and we can all move on". I think you can guess that's not how it's panned out.
She's been through immunotherapy, radiotherapy, chemotherapy and a clinical trial at the Royal Marsden. Her tumour has fungated and she has lymphoedema in her leg.
She's just turned 33 and now has months, weeks or days to live. She has an extremely aggressive tumor that might invade her artery and just cause her to go suddenly, or she might have months of slowly getting more and more tired and in pain before she goes.
I just don't know how to handle it and support her. I have a 9 month old baby and marrying the extreme difference in our positions in life currently has been hard. Although my daughter is a source of great joy to my friend, it means I can't be there for her as much as I would naturally like to be.
On some level my mind still refuses to accept the whole thing too - she looks so well, if you met her in the street you'd never know how ill she is. It feels one huge cosmic joke.
Any advice from anyone on how I can support her and then survive the aftermath is appreciated.
Rosie
Hi RockyDays
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it useful.
Sorry to hear about your friend and that that melanoma is so aggressive, that must be very difficult. You make a very good point too about how normal she looks - one of the things with cancer is we often do not see it around us.
Looking at your emotions when someone has cancer I know I recognize a lot of the feelings I have but then recognizing them and accepting them as valid can help make them feel less overwhelming.
<<hugs>>
Steve
