Hello,
I suppose I'm just looking for some advice,
My husband, who's now 30 was diagnosed 5 years ago last month with a rare mixed cancer of the bowel. He had been told for months he had IBD but once they did the CT they could see the melon size of a tumour on his bowel. He had emergency surgery, had his bowel removed, half his stomach and his pancreas scraped..After that it was a round of Cisplatin chemotherapy. At the time they could tell it was in some lymph nodes around the area of the tumour but they didn't see it anywhere else. Shortly after the 6 months of chemo his lymph nodes in his collar bone was found to have cancer.
We were told at the time of the first chemo it was incurable and all treatments now would be to extend life but that life expectancy of the extent of his cancer was 5 years.
Since then he's been through 3 types of chemo in our local hospitals and 2 clinical trials at the royal Marsden and a number of surgerys to keep removing anything that pops up.
We've just been told the most recent clinical trial hasn't seemed to stop the growth of a another tumour on his lymph nodes at collar bone and so he'll be taken off the trial.
I have always been the positive one, I just want or need everything to be ok. I know what the consultant said about 5 years but I just don't really believe or want to believe in statistics seeing as we've just passed the 5 year mark, as most people with cancer aren't his age. Looking at him you wouldn't know he's got cancer.
But I'm starting to really worry, he's my favourite person in the world and I just can't imagine life without him.
I work full time to pay for our mortgage and bills and I'm starting to find myself really worried I'm wasting our life having to work for a corporate company 40 hours a week and I don't know what to do.
I just want to be out exploring life with him, making sure that if anything is to happen to him, that he got to enjoy life to as full as he can.
I find myself recently if I'm alone bursting into tears worrying about everything. I don't really know what to do. We do have chats together about it but then I end up hysterically crying and I don't like him to see how much I worry or think about if they aren't able to offer more treatments.
I've never spoken to a councillor as I never understand how they're going to help, my young husband is dying and there's nothing I can do..I don't know how a councillor could fix that.
Hello,
Your post really resonates with me. We’re in a similar position. Although a few years older but still only early 40’s. With 2 young adult children but both at uni and very dependant on us.
We were just getting to a place in our lives which was for us. Started travelling and exploring. Then hit with the bombshell of stage 4 not curative and no chance of surgery. We are exploring all options. But in reality. I’m not sure.
I work full time. My husband is self employed but is currently managing a few days a week.
I’m starting to struggle emotionally and mentally. Making silly mistakes at work. I don’t think I can manage working, supporting him emotionally (he is very understandably emotional) keeping on top all the hospital appointments. Medications. He’s never been good at organisation. 
. But financially, at the moment I can’t stop working.
We are waiting to see if critical illness cover will pay out which will hopefully pay a majority of the mortgage and mean I can take some time off. But it’s taking an age to sort and I’m so worried they will find a reason not to pay out.
Do you have anything similar? A joint mortgage with critical illness cover you could claim for. It should cover a terminal diagnosis. Irrespective of length of prognosis. Just an idea that might help with the not working and being able to spend precious time together.
Best wishes.
T x
