My mums recent diagnosis

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Hiya! 

First time posting here, but I don’t know where else to turn to just word vomit and speak to people going through the same. 

My mums just been diagnosed with cancer in her right lung, stomach glands and liver. She needs to have a biopsy to establish what stage and her care plan. But I’m fearing the worst as it’s in multiple organs. 

I’m terrified but I’m trying to be strong for my mum. But my god, I’m scared. I don’t want to lose her. She’s my favourite person. All sorts are going through my mind. I’m grieving her but she’s not gone anywhere. She’s still living her normal life, as if nothings happening. 

Can anyone share their experiences with helping and supporting a parent through this? How do you deal with the fear inside? 

  • Hi  

    Welcome to our community, I hope you find it useful to share with people on here.

    My situation is different in that is my wife with cancer, Leiomyosarcoma but that is as secondaries in her lungs.

    Almost everyone who has a loved one with cancer talks about being strong for them, I just wish that was as easy to do as it is to type. What many find is that they need to find some way to look after ourselves if we want to be the best support we can be.

    There is some quite good stuff in your feelings when someone has cancer as I find being able to recognize my own emotions and accept them as valid can really help to make them less overwehelming.

    Janice's cancer has been stable now for over 10 years so all we have is the occasional checkup.

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi Emelle01

    I got the news Sunday night that my mum who is on the holiday of a lifetime on other side of world has been taken ill and scans revealed Pancreatic cancer. I am now in London trying to organize her medical return to the country. My younger siblings are all coping but I have never felt so alone. I need my mother back here so we can sort a care plan see what can be done and right now I am so frustrated, exhausted and angry. The insurance company and doctors have been wonderful. I just wanted to say that I'm at a similar stage to you. 

    She has told me more than she has told my siblings as doesn't want them to stress too much while she's abroad.

    I just wanted to respond to you and say face on, head up and shoulders back! I need to remind myself of that!

    x

  • Hi

    im in the same situation as you but it’s my Dad that has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We have first appointment with oncology next week.

    im a nurse so I think because I knew the mass they found on his lung would be cancer, I have had longer to process it than my brother and my mum. 
    im finding my dads lack of motivation for anything the hardest thing. I’ve convinced myself they won’t offer him treatment because a recent stroke has left him frail (although it was an occipital lobe stroke and so affecting his sight not his mobility) 

    I just feel numb. I feel very sad for him. I’m worried he’s given up already