My mums recent diagnosis

Hi Emelle01 

Welcome to our community, I hope you find it useful to share with people on here.

My situation is different in that is my wife with cancer, Leiomyosarcoma but that is as secondaries in her lungs.

Almost everyone who has a loved one with cancer talks about being strong for them, I just wish that was as easy to do as it is to type. What many find is that they need to find some way to look after ourselves if we want to be the best support we can be.

There is some quite good stuff in your feelings when someone has cancer as I find being able to recognize my own emotions and accept them as valid can really help to make them less overwehelming.

Janice's cancer has been stable now for over 10 years so all we have is the occasional checkup.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Emelle01

I got the news Sunday night that my mum who is on the holiday of a lifetime on other side of world has been taken ill and scans revealed Pancreatic cancer. I am now in London trying to organize her medical return to the country. My younger siblings are all coping but I have never felt so alone. I need my mother back here so we can sort a care plan see what can be done and right now I am so frustrated, exhausted and angry. The insurance company and doctors have been wonderful. I just wanted to say that I'm at a similar stage to you. 

She has told me more than she has told my siblings as doesn't want them to stress too much while she's abroad.

I just wanted to respond to you and say face on, head up and shoulders back! I need to remind myself of that!

x

Hi

im in the same situation as you but it’s my Dad that has been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. We have first appointment with oncology next week.

im a nurse so I think because I knew the mass they found on his lung would be cancer, I have had longer to process it than my brother and my mum. 
im finding my dads lack of motivation for anything the hardest thing. I’ve convinced myself they won’t offer him treatment because a recent stroke has left him frail (although it was an occipital lobe stroke and so affecting his sight not his mobility) 

I just feel numb. I feel very sad for him. I’m worried he’s given up already 

Hey, sorry to hear this.

My mum, after being sick for over a year, they discovered my mum had cancer in a lot of her organs, small bowel primarily. I suppose I maybe was indenial about it, so felt different than you do now. My mum is now undergoing chemo but not with the intention that she will be cured. That is her scenario, I don't know what the Dr's will advise your mum. 

I have been making it a priority to do things with my mum that she loves and that I love so that we spend valuable time together and make core memories while we have her with us. It's been beautiful to see people come out of the woodwork to show love and care for her. Focus on treasuring things like that! 

Don't get me wrong, I get so freaking mad when I think about the medical negligence that led us here and the hopelessness that comes with dealing with the consequences of that, but mum is here now and that needs to be the focus. What's done is done.

It helps that my mum is a tough cookie and she has faith that is carrying her through!