I’m very fortunate to be a part of a very close-knit family. Myself and my brother are in our early twenties, still living at home with our parents.
The doctors found a tumour in my dad’s bladder after he had what he thought was a urine infection - they found the tumour in July and was scheduled in for surgery at the start of August. All our worst fears came true when we got the biopsy results and the tumour was found to be cancerous. I think we blindly thought it would be ok after a couple of surgery’s and we would be able to move on with our lives.
Following his diagnosis - the doctors pushed for him to start chemo asap as the cancer has already spread through the muscle wall. He will have 4-6 cycles followed by radiation therapy, and at that point the doctors will assess whether the tumour has been beaten back enough or if he needs major surgery to remove his bladder.
I have been trying to keep active, going to the gym with my boyfriend who has been amazingly supportive. But my mum doesn’t have an outlet like I do and it’s making me feel guilty for leaving the house as I know she is seeing Dad degenerate with each day that passes. He is really struggling to eat, sleep and even talk, and ends up watching TV at all hours of the day as he doesn’t have the energy to do anything else. He even had the TV on at night. It’s becoming hard to watch and sometimes it feels better being away from him but then I feel unbearable guilt about not spending time with him whilst I still can, not knowing if he is going to survive this experience.
I feel like my world has been torn apart because I am so close with my family and my dad is genuinely my hero. But I don’t know how to process these feelings or what I can do to help my mum or dad through this time. I’m trying my best but it never feels like enough.
I’ve just spent the last hour in a bit of a mess crying. So I’m sorry if this doesn’t make much sense. I just want to know if anyone has any recommendations of how to deal with these emotions and how to support my mum and dad.
