Hello,
Firstly, thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this.
I am sorry for whatever has brought you here.
Sadly, c is not new to my family.
My mother died of lung cancer when she was 62 - 14 years ago tomorrow (as I write).
My father died with suspected stomach cancer.
Cancer is not something new to me. I have two friends undergoing treatment now.
My sister is currently waiting for her treatment plan having been just been diagnosed with cancer in her bones, lung, brain and breast.
She is 53. They have said breast was her primary cancer. She had a clear mammogram in Feb.
But for some reason, my sister’s situation, both enrages me and fills me with horror and questions.
Had they said lung - I get it, our mum and grandmother died of lung cancer. They all smoke (d) too.
But breast cancer, that has metastasized so rapidly....I can't compute.
The waiting for a plan, 3.5 weeks is horrendous for all.
Traditionally, I'm the 'boring' one. The one that attended all the appointments, translated and made sense of all the medical gobbledegook. This is messing with my head so badly. I have zero ability to speak to the oncology team. It's not my place. I have so many questions, that my sister and her family probably also have but none of us want to say to each other. Her kids and husband are terrified but pretending it will all be fine. So is she. She keeps saying she’s got years, it’s fine, she’s fit and healthy.
But, I have no reference for something like this and it makes my head spin.
I know, it doesn’t matter about me right now.
I have to think of her and her family - I do.
Every minute.
I guess because there is so little information to go on, such as which type of breast cancer, does this aggressive dance party through your body in 6 months. What is it my sister isn’t telling us, have the medical team joined all the dots? What is going on in her brain?
I don’t know how to be of use. I feel utterly impotent.
I can’t stand it. I am scared.
Thank you for ‘listening’
Xoxo
Hi Yvonne33
Welcome to our community though sorry to read about what you and your family have been through. My family too have a bit of experience with cancer though why we are really surprised when we hear the statistic about 1 in 2 in our lifetime - but of course none of us think it will be someone we love.
When my wife was first diagnosed I thought I was coping fairly well, initially the doctors went for watch and wait but then moved to chemotherapy. The first had some serious side effects but they managed to fix those issues. The second ended up making the cancer stable and we have been living with cancer now for over 10 years - rather better than the alternative.
When I look at your feelings when someone has cancer I recognize a lot of the things that hit me however with help I learnt to recognize those emotions, accept them as valid and thus be able to stop them being quite so overwhelming.
Something I had to learn was getting help for me, took me a while and I was quite close to broken when I got there. Macmillan is great and the community is a very special place but the helpline is also available to everyone - 00808 808 0000 it is open 7 days a week from 8am to 8pm and many people also speak highly of Maggies.
<<hugs>>
Steve
