So Lost and petrified

Hi  ElaineT, and a warm welcome to the forum though so sorry to hear about your husband's diagnosis,  Elaine what you are feeling is perfectly normal and the early part of your journey, the not knowing, waiting for results and for treatment to start is the worst and I know no matter what I say you are still going to worry. Everybody worries and thinks the worst,  l have cancer in several places though not the lungs, but I know having lung cancer contained in the lungs is better than one that has spread, my best wishes to you both, take care. 

Eddie xx                                                                               

Thank you so much Eddie, it really means a lot what you said. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so broken and useless before.  
So sorry to hear you have cancer too. I wish you all the best 
I am going to try and make the most of this weekend with my hubby.

Take care Eddie and thank you x

Hi Elaine, you are welcome, and thank you for your good wishes though hearing your going to make something of the weekend is thanks enough. I will have everything crossed for you both at next weeks appointment, good luck.

Eddie xx

Thank you x

Hi Elaine, welcome to the forum.  You're feeling exactly the way I did 14 months ago when my daughter was diagnosed with an aggressive cancer. I'm sure many others on here would say the same.  Daughter has had 8 months of chemo, 3 surgeries, 15 sessions of radiotherapy and is now 6 cycles in to a further 14 chemos.

It doesn't exactly get easier but you will learn to cope. I still have very low days but it does - sadly - become a way of life. Where you are now is the worst time, the wait to start treatment. When you go with your husband next week, you will hopefully learn more and find out what treatment will be and when it will start. Ask as many questions as you need to and make sure you have a number to call if you're worried about anything.

Keep posting here, support is amazing.

Sending you love, strength and a huge hug. x

oh Cherry2 thank you so much, I am humbled with your reply. You sound like you’ve had such a stressful time. Your daughter is such a trooper, I am beginning to learn another world and I am so overcome with emotion at it all. But knowing that you took the time as with another kind gentleman who replied to me while your going through it all, is so appreciated. 
This forum is so helpful. 
Wishing you and your wonderful daughter all the very best. Xx

Elaine, what you said about 'making something of the weekend' is SO important. You will learn, as I have, to 'live in the moment'. If daughter is feeling okay, then it's a good day. Whenever she's well enough we try to do something we enjoy. Occasionally it will be something special like a theatre trip but much more often - a stroll in the park and a cuppa and cake in a nice tea shop. It's so important. So much of our lives is about cancer now but we can't let it define who we are. 

It was several weeks before I could bring myself to do anything normal for 'me' - I've recently retired so didn't have work. But I do now meet good friends for a walk or a coffee again. It gives you headspace and builds the strength and resilience you'll need to support your husband. xxx

Thank you so much for your advice. It’s truly appreciated xx

I know exactly how you feel, and the partner has the added thing that they don't get the attention that the sick person does ! My experience with longer term  issues is that you have to  try to start living in the moment  and take each stage at a time - that helps, also make sure you keep up with friends and get out and do things even if your husband cannot - that helps - just to get a break.

Thank you for your advice, it’s greatly appreciated. I just feel so overwhelmed by it all. My GP was awful this morning , when I told him I haven’t ate, slept and can’t stop shaking and crying for last 6 days.  It’s shock I know, i feel awful for my partner as I’m just a mess.  But hopefully once we know more and have a treatment plan in place I can get a grip and step up for him. MacMillan support has been great, but it all feels so surreal. 
I so appreciate your advice though thank you xx