hi everyone ..
its been a really bad week so far ....my sons car broke down yesterday and we had to get a taxi to the hospital for his appointment this morning ...
we saw the oncologist today and we have been told that the targeted therapy isnt working and my husband has been taken off the treatment as its not doing anything for him ..the cancer hasnt stopped and it has got worse ...hes referring us to the palliative team now and theres nothing he can do to help ...
to say we were devastated is not even covering it ...the oncologist asked if we wanted numbers but we said no...
we knew we were on borrowed time but being told that the borrowed time was running out is so hard to actually hear ...
i know that the cancer unit did everything they could and that hes had 3 types of treatment in about 8 months that havent worked is heartbreaking but its the way it is
we have decided that we will try and carry on at home until the end as much as we can ..hes not in any pain so thats a relief ...
the oncologist said the palliative team will work with our gp ..my husband laughed and said good luck with that as they havent been very helpful ...too focused on his blood pressure and his copd !!
we are both a bit numb about it at the moment and telling the people that care about us is hard to bear ,,,,unfortuneately because my husband can only talk in whispers due to the cancer im the one who has to make the calls ....not pleasant for me or him but thats how the cookie crumbles with us
i think the thing i hate the most is that the feeling that he never had control and although the cancer team have done anything they can to help both of us it just seems like fighting an unseen battle that was loaded against us from the start ....
the macmillan nurses have been brilliant and managed to make sense of what the doctors said and gave us good advice that really helped us when we needed it
my husband has stated that as long as he wakes up in the morning and gets another day he will be happy ..if he doesnt then he will be dead and wont care lol
gallows humour is what is keeping him going at the moment and me too ..its the only thing that cant be taken away from us at the moment ..all i care about is that whatever happens hes not in pain or suffering ....
so we dont know how long he has but its not years ..maybe months ..who knows but we will make what we can of what we have ....if that makes sense
take care
sarah x
