My sister was diagnosed with Stage 4 Melanoma in Dec 22 after a lump grew on her neck which was a metastatic melanoma. She’s been having immunotherapy which has worked and her last scan on 5th June showed that any cancer in her body was too small to show up on a scan and everything was clear. Great news.
Fast forward a month, on 9th July she was admitted to hospital with headaches and vomiting and after a CT scan and MRI it was confirmed she had 6 or 7 lesions on her brain which had grown quickly since her last scan and this was the melanoma which had metastasised.
the only option is whole brain radiotherapy which the consultant didn’t seem too confident about. I’m devastated and heartbroken. My sister is only 43, a mum to twin girls age 13 and I find myself crying everyday. We know it’s going to happen at some point but we’re not sure when. She’s been so brave and strong and bought cards for her girls for every birthday until they’re 21, good luck in your exams cards, driving test etc.
what I’m struggling with is I keep thinking about all the things she’s going to miss out on, about her funeral, how it might happen, life without her, I feel guilty that I get to live my life and she doesn’t and she hasn’t even gone yet I’m thinking about it already. It’s tearing me apart because I love her so much. We have so many happy memories, we had the happiest childhood together and I’m broken.
the hardest thing is she’s on steroids to reduce the swelling which has stopped the symptoms and now she’s just back to normal, home and waiting for her treatment next week, it’s like a false sense of security seeing her so well - I’m obviously so glad she’s well but it makes me think how can they say it’s so aggressive and terminal yet she’s so well, it’s hard to accept.
I feel like it’s never going to get any better and a part of me will always be lost now, life will never be the same.
Hi Lovemysis
I get what you say, sometimes people say that my wife looks so well - they mean no harm of course but when you know how she is it can be difficult.
We do have a good piece on coping with anticipatory grief that can be quite helpful. I ended up doing a living with less stress course that really helped me appreciate what we have rather than looking at that future that felt lost.
<<hugs>>
Steve
