I'm not sure what to say here as this is my first tome on the group. My husband has tonsil cancer and I'm struggling caring for him and working full time. I feel I'd be a fraud to take time off work, it's not me that's ill but I desperately want to look after him properly. Things will get tougher for him now he is being tube fed so I need to be there. The mental health nurse at our GP practise is on holiday for 2 weeks so just hoping to understand how other people managed thus? Thanks
Hi Edinburgh
Welcome to our community though sorry to hear about what you are going through. I though I was managing well with balancing work and looking after my wife and son all the way until I found I was't - at which point I walked in to the Maggie's and talking with them realized that the only thing I could get some relief form was work andI my GP signed me off work for a short while. At that point of course I was work as being the one place that I felt really in control.
One plus for me was the ability to do quite a bit or work from home, meaning I could arrange things other than 9-5. It even had some advantages for my work in that we have people working around the world meaning I could help others when the UK office was closed and gave me a wider range of experience. The other thing was speaking about my experience actually helped others to talk about what they are going through too - that old saying of a friend in need really came true for me.
A real turning point for me was when I did a living with less stress course. It helped me to focus on the here and now and what we had rather than living in a dark future I could not control and I was much better at imaging things worse than they actually turned out and it prevented me appreciating what we have. Of course life still likes to throw us curveballs and the conscious breathing techniques can be really helpful - again that thing "take a deep breath".
<<hugs>>
Steve
