Hi-
my husband was diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma in 2021. He went through immunotherapy for 12 months. 6 months ago a pet scan showed a lymph node light up and a few weeks ago the biopsy showed malignancy.
yesterday he had surgery to remove the lymph node. The surgeon called and said that the surgery was unsuccessful as the lymph node was too close to an artery to remove. He said it did not look good in there.
it has been terrible trying to support my husband’s emotions as well being consumed with worry and now trying to find possible treatment for him. Yesterday was a bad day. I feel so alone in dealing with this while keeping him emotionally afloat.
how do others deal with you spouse’s feelings without letting it eat you alive inside?
Hi Maere
I'm not a member of this forum, as I was the one with melanoma, but I noticed that your post hadn't had any replies yet. Responding to you will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussion list again.
While you're waiting for replies, it would be great if you could put something about your husband's diagnosis and treatment to date into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi Maere
As you are well aware, being on the other side of the diagnosis is both mentally draining and emotionally difficult.
I hope that since you posted this message you have found a new coping mechanism, for the changes that have been happening in your world, there is not one single right way to cope, and I am sure that for many of us, blotting out some of the reality of what is happening and how very serious it is, can be a way of managing to get through on a day to day basis.
For me, I can write about my husbands journey, and for the most part I can talk openly about it, without getting too upset, but I find when I read back on everything that has gone on, I can get quite emotionally. so I think the way I cope is to keep a tight lock on that section of my mind until I am in a safe place. Occasionally that safe place is compromised, as yours would have been when given the news that the surgery was unsuccessful, that would have been a true shock and one which opened your emotional flood gate, letting everything you have been holding together fall out...
It's tough.. I hope you find more support in this forum going forwards.
Take Care
Lowe'
