I’ve posted before about my mum having terminal cancer, she unfortunately passed away last August and I’ve been dealing with it day by day. In the last few weeks both of her parents have been diagnosed with cancer, one of the lung and one of the stomach ,somewhere in the pelvis and lymphnodes. The one with the more aggressive seeming cancers is getting a pet scan tomorrow to determine what to do. Last week they were fairly sure she’d be treated but she now isn’t eating or drinking enough and her legs are really swollen. After everything that happened last year with mum I’ve tried to keep being alive and happy, and I’ve booked a holiday for myself but I feel guilty going knowing my family is in such a state again. It was hard enough that we had 10 years of mums diagnosis but I’m just not ready to keep consistently loosing my family members especially my mums parents. I’m writing mainly to get it off my chest but I don’t know how to cope
Hi josieposie
We hear the statistic of 1 in 2 getting cancer in their lifetime but somehow we hope not us - and then the world decides to throw us off a cliff - and again and again.
With my wife's cancer I ended up doing a living with less stress course. I finally got the idea of mindfulness - living in the moment and enjoying what we have rather than trying to imagine a future that anyway I could not control and my imagination was actually quite a bit more negative that reality. Of course life still likes to throw curveballs and the conscious breathing technique can be quite helpful - step back and take a deep breath.
When I look at your emotions when supporting someone with cancer I can run the list a bit like a tickbox. However by accepting the emotions as valid can help them to be something less overwhelming and perhaps helps me a bit coping - still cry from time to time but that is ok too.
i am so glad you posted on here, it can be amazing taking the time to write a message on here and I find another saying about a trouble shared can be helpful - I am so grateful I finally realized that I needed help if I was to be the best support for my wife - not always easy of course.
<<hugs>>
Steve
