Hello,
I've just found this support side of macmillan after having a rather difficult morning with my emotions. My dad has been diagnosed for over a year, I've lost track of time to be honest. I am 21 and live with my partner away from my hometown so I have to travel when I visit him usually and today I'm having to travel to the hospital and visit him. He's been in there for 2 weeks and the care he's recieved has definitely been less than satisfactory. Its really difficult to see him like this as he has always been my best friend and I pride myself on being the way I am because of him.
I just find it really difficult to process all of my emotions sometimes and get really frustrated when people around me seem to forget what I'm going through but that obviously isn't realistic to expect and I know I'm just thinking erratically because of what's happening. I hate the hospital, I hate this illness, I hate seeing what its doing to my step mum, I just want it all to go away. How do you not go borderline insane?
Sorry for the messy post but I just don't know who I can really talk to about this and how to express how it affects me.
hi Tdog
It took me a while to reach our for some support when my wife was ill and probably was borderline insane when I walked in to the Maggie's at our local hospital. Spent over an hour spilling my story to a very patient lady and used up most of a box of tissues.
People in general are often quite reluctant to discuss cancer, big plus on here is we all get that because we have all been there or are there still.
I did a living with less stress course that really helped me. There is a good page here your feelings when someone has cancer and looking at that I recognize a lot of how I feel and recognizing those feelings as authentic and realistic can help to make them feel less overwhelming.
One thing I found when I talked about how I felt was there were lots of people who were in the same situation but had felt unable to talk about those feelings. Life of course still goes on around us and it can feel difficult to see others having a good time when we feel our life is so difficult.
<<hugs>>
Steve
