Heartbroken

Hi Tinydancer, 

I can relate to you 100%.  My story is very similar and I am not coping at all.  My anxiety is off the scale and the shock is huge.  It's all happened so quickly.  He got sick and went yellow and the next thing we know, he has Cancer when we were informed it was stones in his gall bladder.  I can't comprehend that my dad isn't going to be here.  They won't operate and I'm guessing they won't give him any treatment as he is a shadow of his former self but we're praying there is a miracle when he goes to see the Oncologist on the 29th x

I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling like me too.. hurrendous to put it mildly isn’t it. The waiting and every thing is just so awful the unknown I guess I’ve been through all that last year . Wishing you all the luck in the world for the 29th. Keep us updated it really is such a cruel disease. 
stay strong! Here if you need a chat x

Thank you, how do you cope?  I don't think I can live with this pain.  How old is your poor dad? x

I can also relate to how you’re feeling. My dad is 83 but always been in good health. He recently started complaining about pain in his abdomen. I took him to a&e and they diagnosed him with a pulled muscle. Fast forward 4 weeks and a 2 week stay in hospital, we eventually managed to get him discharged as there was still no diagnosis and he was struggling with sitting in hospital doing nothing. A couple of days after getting home a consultant phoned to tel us it was a malignant tumour and there was nothing they could do. The following day dads gp came over with a shed load of morphine and essentially said if you want to see anyone then do it sooner rather than later. 
this was 5 days ago and I still feel a bit she’ll shocked. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel or what I’m supposed to do. Some people lose a parent as a kid or teenager and seem to hold it all together. I’ve been so lucky to have my dad for a long time but I’m all over the place. It’s just so out of the blue. 

Sorry for my slow reply! He has just turned 60! Still young  I know I don’t know tbh every day brings different feelings some days are better than others, I’m just trying to be strong and make those memories with him talk as much as possible. It’s the unknown that’s hard. my children keep me strong tbh just lots of cuddles and try to keep myself busy when I’m at home, unfortunately he lives an hour away from me so I’m limited when I can go in between school times. 

try to be strong it is so so hard I really feel for you right now but just know I’m always here for a chat if you want :) 

take care x

How did it go with oncologist ? X

Hi,

They said they could give him low grade chemo but that he probably didn't have more than 8 months without it.  He is deliberating whether to have it or not.  It's so painful to see him so frail and unhappy :-( xx

That is a tricky one as any form of chemo is brutal and like you say being so frail and unhappy already

it is really painful, heartbreaking and so so sad it’s such a cruel disease. Do you have any siblings or relatives/friends you can lean on for support? I’ve found it helps to talk about the way I feel. 

take care 

x

Hi,

Yes, I have a good support network thank you.  My mum, however, doesn't seem to want to talk to anyone :-( xx