Heartbroken

4 replies
28 subscribers
198 views

Hi everyone, I’m absolutely devastated about my dad’s news yesterday from the oncologist that there is no treatment they can do and they will just pain manage him at home. He’s been in hospital near 3 weeks with abdominal pain which started when he had kidney stones few weeks prior to going in hospital this time around .. he had a stent in and then 6 weeks later it was removed as it was causing him real discomfort but the pain still remained. He was pain managed at home but it really got to a point where he couldn’t take it no longer and that’s why he’s was admitted back to hospital this time around. Since being in he’s ct scan which revealed a bowel obstruction and he was vomiting feaces Bless him it was awful! They have pumped him with super strong steroids and anti sickness and laxatives which have helped but the scan also revealed his crohns was again active and there are new tumors, he has already been through chemotherapy for esophegeal cancer which is stable and now this has reared its ugly head, the mdt meeting with oncology was confirmed to us yesterday that there is no more treatment that will give him quality of life as such and to go home with everything in place eg pain meds and palliative care.

He has been through so much and I’m just absolutely devastated this is happening to my dad I’m scared for what’s to come, how to cope, how to tell my children who are 5/7 how poorly grandad is etc

im sorry for the long post just needed to get it off my chest

Joltsy 12 days ago

Hi Tinydancer,

I can relate to you 100%. My story is very similar and I am not coping at all. My anxiety is off the scale and the shock is huge. It's all happened so quickly. He got sick and went yellow and the next thing we know, he has Cancer when we were informed it was stones in his gall bladder. I can't comprehend that my dad isn't going to be here. They won't operate and I'm guessing they won't give him any treatment as he is a shadow of his former self but we're praying there is a miracle when he goes to see the Oncologist on the 29th x

Tinydancer 12 days ago in reply to Joltsy

I’m sorry to hear that you’re feeling like me too.. hurrendous to put it mildly isn’t it. The waiting and every thing is just so awful the unknown I guess I’ve been through all that last year . Wishing you all the luck in the world for the 29th. Keep us updated it really is such a cruel disease.
stay strong! Here if you need a chat x

Joltsy 12 days ago in reply to Tinydancer

Thank you, how do you cope? I don't think I can live with this pain. How old is your poor dad? x

Burke 2 hours ago

I can also relate to how you’re feeling. My dad is 83 but always been in good health. He recently started complaining about pain in his abdomen. I took him to a&e and they diagnosed him with a pulled muscle. Fast forward 4 weeks and a 2 week stay in hospital, we eventually managed to get him discharged as there was still no diagnosis and he was struggling with sitting in hospital doing nothing. A couple of days after getting home a consultant phoned to tel us it was a malignant tumour and there was nothing they could do. The following day dads gp came over with a shed load of morphine and essentially said if you want to see anyone then do it sooner rather than later.
this was 5 days ago and I still feel a bit she’ll shocked. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel or what I’m supposed to do. Some people lose a parent as a kid or teenager and seem to hold it all together. I’ve been so lucky to have my dad for a long time but I’m all over the place. It’s just so out of the blue.

More from this forum

Heartbroken