My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer in November 2020 and finished all treatment and surgeries in November 2021. It goes without saying that the diagnosis has changed her. Of course, it would to anyone but I can't help missing my team mate. I miss having discussions about things other than cancer or the latest pain/twinge and what it could mean. I hate anxiety and what it does to her mind. I hate all the times my wonderful wife has got the courage up to speak to someone (including macmillan) and she is told to just breathe.
No-one prepares you with how much your life will change, even after the treatment has ended. No one prepares you for the grief of losing your partner when they are still right in front of you. Going to work, having meals, living a life.
I miss my wife. Anxiety socks.
Sorry to read your story, I think many will recognize the feeling of grief around the life we had and the anxiety over the future.
One slightly crazy thing that helped me was 6 people who died at work when a building they were aiming to demolish collapsed on them. We all like to thing things will go on forever but we know that is not true.
Something that really helped me was doing a living with less stress course, a key element of that was focusing on the here and now and appreciating what we have. The conscious breathing they taught me was also helpful in both dealing with the curveballs life still likes to throw our way (that old saying step back, take a deep breath, step up can really work) but was also helpful in letting me relax.
Sometimes just recognizing our emotions and accepting them as valid can help stop them being quite so overwhelming. One thing I certainly think is the benefit from sharing on here will others in a similar circumstance can be really helpfully in making us feel less alone and more normal (a new normal).
<<hugs>>
Steve
