Hello everyone
I'm reaching out in hope of finding guidance and and support for my mum, who's currently undergoing her second cycle of FOLFOX for bowel cancer. It's been a rough journey so far, with each cycle leading to hospital stays due to severe vomiting and other distressing symptoms.
Mum is 67 and has always been the type to tough it out on her own, seeing the need for help as a sign of weakness. This mindset seems to be impacting her approach to her chemotherapy, where she often predicts severe sickness even before it begins, and unfortunately, that's what ends up happening. It's been incredibly hard on her, both physically and mentally, to the point where she seems to have aged significantly in a short period.
I'm really concerned about her low mood and reluctance to seek help, fearing that it's making her symptoms worse or even psychosomatic to some extent. Despite my efforts, I'm struggling to encourage her to adopt a more positive and proactive stance towards her health, especially regarding nutrition and hydration, which are crucial to avoid hospitalisation with each treatment cycle.
I feel we're stuck in this cycle of negativity and illness, and it's taking a toll on both of us. I'm reaching out to see if anyone here has gone through something similar or has advice on how to encourage a loved one to be more proactive in their care and maintain a positive outlook. Any strategies for managing anticipatory nausea or suggestions for supporting mental well-being during such a challenging time would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for taking the time to read about our situation. Any advice or shared experiences would mean the world to us. R
Hi Rach_Swe_UK,
My name is Matthew, and I work as part of the Online Community Team. We're the team who work on supporting our Online Community to make sure it stays safe and working well.
I am so sorry to hear about the situation with your mum. Supporting a loved one with a cancer diagnosis can be a significant challenge, even when they're approaching things with a positive attitude. If they are in a deeply negative mindset, or if they have always struggled with accepting help, I can certainly appreciate just how much harder trying to support them can be.
I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. Macmillan and the Online Community will be here to help you with practical tips and emotional support whenever you need it.
From reading your post, it sounds like you're primarily looking for advice and support from fellow Community members at the moment. In order to make sure other members of the Community can see and reply to your post, I have moved it from our Ask an Information and Support Advisor forum, and have placed it in our Family and friends forum instead. The Family and friends forum is a space full of caring and understanding Community members who will understand a little bit of what you might be going through.
If you have any specific questions you'd like a Macmillan professional to answer, you can always ask them by starting a new discussion thread in the most appropriate area of the Ask an Expert forum. For advice on getting practical support and emotional help, the Ask an Information and Support Advisor forum is still the right place to go. If you have any questions about tests, diagnosis, treatments, or managing side-effects, our Ask a Nurse forum will get your question answered by one of our Cancer Information Nurse Specialists.
Alternatively, if you'd like to speak to any of our support teams directly, you can reach us on the Macmillan Support Line. The Support Line is open from 8am to 8pm, 7 days a week, and can be reached on freephone 0808 808 00 00.
I hope that all makes sense. Now this thread has been moved to the Family and friends forum, I'm sure it won't be long before other members of the Community begin sharing their care and support with you. If you need any help using the Online Community, please don't hesitate to send our team an email at community@macmillan.org.uk.
All the best,
Matthew
Macmillan Online Community Team
