Mum’s cancer

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I’m totally new to this so let me know if all this is ok.
my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 non-hudgkin lymphoma a few weeks before Christmas. At first we were unsure of what it was, my mum had suddenly fallen ill so my dad took her to the doctors and a scan revealed some unknown mass. She was immediately taken into hospital and after a long-awaited biopsy she was diagnosed. Mum was in critical care for just over a month over Christmas and has now been home for a while.

This is my mum’s second time having cancer, her first was before I was born. I had been told it would be bad but some days have been horrendous. Even though her condition has been improving, our family life feels a bit warped - I have been juggling my gcse exams on top and my dad has been caring for mum as well as working - he is recovering from his own cancer from the summer.

My dads cancer was luckily found early and was surgically treated but was still a shock and a tricky experience for all of us - only a few months after we were experiencing a horrible de ja vu when my mum was admitted to the same hospital.

I am worried about family life and exams and would like to help my dad get counselling at some point as he has taken a lot of this on. Does anyone have any advice on supporting my dad or working/getting through exams during this time?

Thanks. X

Jocasta 9 months ago

Hello and I'm sorry that you are having to deal with this and your GCSEs, you are obviously young and in need of support. Has your GP offered any advice? Have you spoken to anyone at your school? Men don't always think they need help, so your dad may not have spoken to anyone. He will be trying to protect you from worrying, but he could try the GP first? Sending you a virtual hug. X

Randomgarden 9 months ago in reply to Jocasta

Thank you for such a fast reply! I will have a chat with my dad about a GP visit. My school have offered support and have been helping me along the way.

Thank you! X

Jocasta 9 months ago in reply to Randomgarden

Good, that's a start. Don't be afraid to ask your school for help. I'm sure they will want to help. X

eddiel 9 months ago

Hi Randomgarden, I am so sorry for what you and your family have been, and are going through, and being so young and having your exams as well must make things even harder for you. Well done in reaching out for help. As a man, with T4 cancer, and 3 kids, i agree with Jocasta my kids come first and i will not do or say anything to upset them. I do have counselling and it helps me manage though i don't know other than asking your GP and searching online how to get one, unless you go private which is expensive. There is a cancer charity called Maggies, a drop in centre, no appointment needed where you and your dad can talk to cancer support specialists and others going through similar journeys. www.maggies.com they really are wonderful people and help so many people on the forum, best wishes to you and your family, take care.

Eddie

Randomgarden 9 months ago in reply to eddiel

Hello eddiel ,

thank you for your advice! I have looked into maggies and it seems a great option for us, thank you.

I have seen lots of your replies as I look around the forum- I really appreciate all your advice and responses!

Best wishes for you and your family

eddiel 9 months ago in reply to Randomgarden

Happy to help, My best wishes to you and your family.

Eddie

eddiel 9 months ago in reply to Randomgarden

Hi Randomgarden, Just wanted to know how you and your family are doing and if you got to Maggies, take care.

Eddie

Randomgarden 9 months ago in reply to eddiel

Hi Eddie,

we have not yet been to Maggie’s, however I have applied for counselling via school and my dad may be able to access therapy through his job. My mum is doing well (halfway through chemo) and it’s been easier for my dad to care for her as she is more mobile etc. I will still keep Maggie’s in mind for us, thank you for your help and advice.

Best wishes!
RG

eddiel 9 months ago in reply to Randomgarden

That's good to hear, I hope it all works out and your mum continues to get better, my best wishes to you and your family, take care.

Eddie

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