Struggling to see him suffer today.

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My son has lymphoma.  He's on Escalated BEACOP Dac which is a very intensive chemo.  He has 21 day cycles with chemo on day's 1, 2, 3 & 8. We know that this disease is usually very treatable and that we are lucky in that.  Mostly I'm optimistic.  His latest PET-CT showed that after 2 cycles the cancer has reduced significantly but it is still there. 

Last weekend was rough.  I drove him to the SRU at 4:30am last Friday morning.  My Dad (who also lives with me) was taken to another hospital later that day after he collapsed.

My Dad was discharged the next day but my son stayed in for 4 days on IV antibiotics.   He was discharged on Monday evening then went back in on Wednesday, Thursday and today to start his next cycle.

Mostly, as a parent, I cope really well.  I know that my sons chances of surviving this are good and most days I'm ok.  Today I'm not and I'm getting through moment by moment and one way I'm getting through the moments is by sharing my feelings on here.

How do you cope with seeing your sons suffering?  He's feeling really rough.  He's grey, has no hair and his face is so bloated that he's almost unrecognisable. He exhausted and sleeps most of the time.  He's incredibly resilient (always has been - even as a child). He just pushes through and doesn't complain but he's really suffering atm and as a parent, it's very hard to watch.

  • Hi  

    Watching anyone go through treatment is hard and when it is our child even more so. We do have a special group here Parents of children with cancer forum though it is not very active and you are of course totally welcome here. 

    I so glad you find sharing on here helpful, sometimes just that process of getting our thoughts down in writing can be quite helpful in ways that sometimes friends and family who are not in the same position can find really difficult to cope with.

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

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  • Hi Maze50,

    I'm so sorry you find yourself in this situation but I totally understand how you feel. My daughter has finished her chemo which was so brutal. You know it has to be, but it's just so hard to watch you child become weaker and sicker with every cycle.  Every instinct is to protect your child from anything that will cause them pain, but in this instance you are powerless.

    My daughter is now having surgery very soon, followed by radiotherapy.

    Sending hugs and love to you and your family. x

  • I have been through the same situation for my son. He had DLBCL . I know it is very heart breaking to see your child suffering in front of you but you can supoort him by being strong and positive. xx

  • Thank you for your reply.  It's a comfort to know that there are people who understand exactly how I feel.  I'm doing much better today.  I just needed to get through the rough patch.  

    Today I'm feeling much stronger.

    I wish you strength and i hope your daughters surgery goes well.

    Hugs.  xx