Just want it to be over

Hello Dogmumof3

I am so sorry that your Mum is in her last few weeks and I understand how hard this must be. Our family had a similar experience with my own Mum. 

I think that sometimes people just don't know what to say and mean well when they say things like enjoy the time you have with her. It is of course a very different experience to watch someone you love go through such an awful time. 

Well done for trying to keep things normal and positive over Christmas for your children. 

What you are feeling is normal and to be expected in the circumstances and it is natural to be feeling overwhelmed and to be struggling. Please do consider giving the Support Line a call in the morning. The details are below and they will understand how you are feeling. Sometimes just being able to express it can help.

I hope that you are getting support from Mum's team and that they are able to support you all as well. 

Please do let us know if the there is anything else we can do to offer you support.

Jane

1. So sorry to hear about your mum, my mum is in the same situation stage 4 bowel cancer. I'm just watching mum I know and love deteriate and there's nothing I can do. I feel awful , and its breaking me x

Thank you for your reply.  Thankfully she is pain free but there is no quality of life for her.  Such a cruel disease.

So sorry for you.  It's a living nightmare isn't it?  I wouldn't put my dogs through this but yet I have to watch my lovely mum just fade away.  She can barely hold a conversation anymore and I am mentally exhausted trying to think of thinks to say.  Its a relief when she falls asleep.  I just wish her misery would end.

I totally hear every word you've said...except its my dear Dad who is fading away&my Mum is struggling caring for him, whist trying to protect me&my sister. Christmas was really hard.....my heart is breaking but tried to have a good time for my children. It's exhausting.  My Dad is currently at home and I feel my parents were given his diagnosis at the end of Oct and told no treatment(Dad too frail&wouldn't be able to undergo any surgery) and have basically been sent home to die (albeit with booklets on lung cancer!)  He has really had enough now.....it's his birthday today&after another fall last night he doesn't want to see anyone. He is skeletal and so fragile.....can't even cuddle him as he's so broken. Actually find it comforting reading other people's posts and knowing we're not alone. What a horrible club to be in though eh? Sending love and prayers to you all on here. Xxx

Hi I am so sorry to hear of your exoerience - and everybody's elses on the thread here. I can relate too - it really is hard to bear. My mum is in hospital at the moment. She was diagnosed with secondary bone cancer in 2020 during lockdown - essentially spread from the breast cancer in her 50's. There is only me and mum now, as my brother died in his late twenties from bone cancer, and she nursed him for the last 3 years of his life. Mum is very poorly, she is not eating and is very depressed. It is evident to me that my mum, once so strong and independent until very recently, is dying, and I can see she has had enough. I am hoping she regains the strength to leave the hospital as she is very depressed and I and trying to get her discharged into our local community hospital. Also sending love and best wishes to everyone - it is comforting to know we are not alone.

It is the most distressing situation to be in.  Today was really hard as mum is barely staying awake.  She already looks like a corpse.  Seeing her today really broke me and I struggled to drive home as I couldn't stop crying.  I miss her so much already even though she's still here.  She is my best friend and I feel so lost without her.   I feel for you too and I really appreciate you reaching out xx

That's horrible, I know how you're feeling I feel the same. Everything feels meaningless, I feel so lost in life. I can't cure her