My husband was diagnosed with colorectal cancer in September last year. After radiotherapy, chemo and a significant operation leaving him with a permanent stoma in July we hoped we had beat it. After feeling some pain scans revealed a spot on the pelvic bone. We are devastated with a 18 month to 2 and a half year prognosis but then a PET scan has also picked up more cancer in the pelvis liver and lungs.
We have boys of 13 and 10 and neither of us can get through the day without crying. We just don't know what to do.
Hi Gingersnap
I really feel for you all, never quite been in your position since my wife's cancer has always been incurable but she never wanted a prognosis and now having been living with cancer for over 10 years I wonder what I would actually change.
One thing that really helped me was doing a living with less stress course. I sort of found myself stuck in pre-grief rather than appreciating what we actually have and so crying was quite normal to me - usually in the shower so nobody else saw.
Our son in 19 now and we are so grateful to all the teachers through his schooling who have been so supportive of him. Times when Janice was in an out of hospital and all the rest and his teachers worked with us to make sure he got the same support and the same information from everyone.
Well done for reaching out on here, I know a lot of friends who find it so difficult to talk about cancer but I have made so many more now who know our new normal is different.
I know at times too I felt sheltered at work - work was "normal" "safe" - and so grateful for the people who supported me there because some days I really was not so much use I am sure.
Do post whenever and reach out for help where ever you can - because your husband and your children need you and one thing I learnt the hard way was that to be my best I had to look after me too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
