Hi, my mum aged 71 has just had an endoscopy 2 days ago which found a malignant tumor in her colon. She’s booked in for scans Thursday. She is an immigrant who now lives in Australia but her English isn’t the best. My dad is with her but his English is also not so great but they’re managing. I’m her only child living in London at the moment so feeling extremely guilty that I cannot be there to translate for her which is what I would normally do if I was there. I have spoken to work already and my manager has been understanding about me taking leave to go to see my mum but still need to wait for some scans before the doctors know the full story. Am just wondering should I wait a few days till Thursday until they know the extent and can plan treatment before I book tickets home or should I just go back home now to support her.
Hello Coffeelover
I am so sorry to hear that your Mum has had a diagnosis of cancer after a malignant tumour was found in her colon. It must be difficult to be so far away at a time like this and I can understand that you want to be with her. The language difficulty must add to the worry.
I would imagine that any scans would be done fairly quicky and hopefully that will give you some time to sort out practical things like the travelling. It is great that your work are being supportive and understand that you want to be with your family.
It is understandable to wait for the full picture and it must be comforting to know that your Dad is with her. In the meantime I am sure it will be a great support to both Mum and Dad that they know you are there, at the end of the phone, or on video call to talk things through and offer support. You should not feel guilty at all about not being there to translate- when you do get there you it will not be too late to talk things through with Mum's medical team. There may also be translators that can be accessed through the hospital. Mum could also perhaps write down anything she is not sure on, or show you any letters/test results and you can look at over the phone.
By the time you are able to go there, hopefully Mum will have some idea of potential treatments and that is where I am sure you will be a great support. When I was first diagnosed with cancer- you can actually take a bit of time to process it and are still a bit in limbo. I had the diagnosis but did not know what would happen yet. Once all the tests are done and all the results are through, then treatment can be planned. That is when I found family support really important- both for the practical things and the emotional side. This was especially true once surgery was planned and then after with my chemo cycles and radiotherapy treatments.
If at any point talking things through would help, then please do give the Support Line a call. The number is below and they are lovely on there.
In the meantime if there is anything else that you need, please do ask. I hope that Mum's scans are done quickly and the full picture is then known. I wish her well with whatever treatment she has.
Jane
