My mum recently went through some major surgery and on day of discharge her surgeon told us they removed a tumour that was advanced bowel cancer that had spread to her lymph nodes.
As far as we knew there was NO bowel cancer symptoms (didnt do the test that was sent through the post) so this was a complete shock. She has her first appointment on the 14th November with oncology and I just feel like I'm not coping at all.
I have 3 sisters and we take turns helping mum out but I hate myself for not being there 24/7. The guilt I feel for not knowing what was going on in her body all this time.
Don't have a clue what to expect at this first appointment. Feels like I'm waffling on but need someone to talk to.
I feel heartbroken 
Hi ElaineG1011 welcome to the forum and I am so very sorry to hear what has ben happening for you and your family and most of all how you are feeling now. I can appreciate how upset that you are but you couldn't' have predicted any of this. Some of these Cancers are sneaky and work away in the background without any outward signs or symptoms until they have done some damage. So what I think i am trying to say to you is dont feel guilty, as you have nothing to feel guilty about . It has been such a shock for you all and i can relate to that as my dad had a hidden Cancer and one that is hard to pick up so it does happen sadly.
Its ok to feel as you do it is such a shock and takes some time to process. That first appointment will be to discuss the treatment plan and what that will involve for your mum. Are any of you able to go with her and maybe ask any questions you have, provided your mum is ok with that.
Sending some hugs your way for now. x
gail
Hi Elaine. So sorry to hear about your mum and I can relate. My mum was taken into hospital 5 weeks ago with a suspected bowel obstruction which turned out to be stage 4 bowel cancer and secondarypread to her stomach. She was given a prognosis of weeks. Prior to this, she was physically healthy. She had complained about constipation recently but we took advice from our chemist and gave helaxatives. Like yourself, we are so shocked that my mum was so incredibly ill and there were so few signs. This disease has ravaged her in a short period of time. She has no appetite, is constant fatigued and nauseous and is becoming increasingly confused so we know she's not going to be with us for much longer. I cannot offer you advice but do not beat yourself up. I want to send you hugand please be kind to yourself as this is a tortuous journey with a loved one. For us, we are just trying to make sure mum feels truly loved in her final days as she is
I'm so so sorry. Thank you for taking the time to reply. Hugs right back at you 
️ life is so cruel xxxx
