Hi amarie, first sorry to hear about your partners diagnosis . I would suggest you look at the head and neck forum, there are plenty of people on this forum who have experience of the type of cancer you are discussing and they will be more than pleased to answer any queries you have. I myself had stage 3 tonsil cancer ( was actually diagnosed a year ago today !) I’m now in remission following RT and chemo.
Hi Brian, thanks very much, I'm not really familiar with this site at all. It's not really the whereabouts of the cancer but how to deal with the person suffering from it. He refuses to talk, I do what I can to try and say the right thing, I don't know what to do to support him and I'm losing my mind. I know it's selfish of me to be upset, he is the one with the illness, but how can I help and support him if he refuses to discuss anything. It's so horrible, I can't bear to see him suffer, I can't just sit by and watch. I don't know what to do or who to turn to
Hi Amarie - my dad was the same in the first few months after diagnosis. He closed in on us all. I think it must be really difficult for someone to face their own mortality. However, once treatment started things became easier. For him, it has been about making sure he has a sense of purpose everyday. I think it can be really easy to lose that when things are closing in on you. Making plans for the future, making sure there's a reason to get up every morning etc. I also personally found I really benefited from counselling (from someone with experience in cancer/hospices) to cope with both my emotions and navigating theirs. I hope this helps and I am wishing you and your partner the best of luck x
Hello, thank you for your response. He is getting better at discussing things now, it's all moving very quickly. He will have a sonde gastrique fitted on Monday which, while for his own safety is a good thing, he takes so much pleasure in food. It is going to be hard to watch him struggle with that. And then at the start of novembre he commence the rayon, 35 séances, the 1st will include chimio of which he has to have 3, every trois semaines. The masque for rayon is truly horrific, I am so worried for how he will cope. I just wish I knew what to do to make life as facile as possible. I can't sit back and watch him suffer, but I can't fuss either as that will make things worse. Je me sens un peu perdu. Mais merci pour votre conseil.
