Mum breast secondary cancer

Hi Cazgirl 

Sorry to read about your mum and everything you both have been going through, absolutely no need to apologize here.

Do they knew what kind of secondary cancer this is? Often with secondary cancer surgery is not an option because it has already moved around the body however that is where chemotherapy and immunotherapy can be useful in treating the whole patient. My wife has secondary Leiomyosarcoma and has had two different types of chemotherapy - and great news was the second type sent her cancer to sleep - 10 years of living with cancer and hopefully many more to come.

Some years ago before my wife had even got a diagnosis she had an emergency hysterectomy - I spend the best part of a month in the gynaecological ward and heard so many stories from other patients. The idea somehow that drawing a curtain around a bed gave privacy however is a little bit of a joke. At that point my wife was so ill mostly the doctors had to speak to me because my wife was often close to non-responsive.

When Janice was diagnosed with cancer she was very clear she did not want to be hold how long - I struggled with that. Truth be told though the doctors generally have to guess based on out of date averages - who is the average patient anyway.

It is difficult, but keep reaching out for help for you, there is a lot out there - it took me quite some time to realise that.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi Steve, thank you so much for your reply. I'm so sorry to hear about your wife's diagnosis and being in the hospital for some time, sending big hugs to you all. 

My apologies that I didn't reply earlier just an update as my mum was admitted to the hospital over a week ago with stomach sickness, She's had so many scans, tests, a catheter, canulas inserted in both arms and had a nose tube couple of times and want to try put it in again so she will have a stent put in her stomach to open up so food is able to go through. Hope they'll be able to do it tomorrow otherwise be delayed by few days. I feel for her so much doesn't want to have it done but I try to reassure her. 

What I've been told is she’s got secondary cancer to her bone and I think lungs too or another organ, it was all a blur when I was told.  

We’re still awaiting from the breast doctor and other team to wait for the biopsy results, which they said takes a few weeks and finding out where the cancer originally started from. 

It's been a struggle over the last week, it's hard seeing many patients being discharged daily and going home and watching everyone having their meals and giving them cups of teas which she misses so much :( 

I recently had my Dad admitted to the same hospital in July with similar gastro infection he was in for a week, as he had two knee replacement operations this year, so has been a bit emotional stress for Mum worrying about him and I've been looking out for her for support and reassuring her things will be ok. 

I'll find more support and try and get counselling I tied to get some last year due to other problems but was put on a long waiting list and was then referred to another company that only does email or text counselling, I prefer to speak to a person so I gave that up, I know I shouldn't have.  

Again sorry this long message and thanks for reading. 

Caz

Hi, I’m so sorry to hear about your mother. My mother just got diagnosed with gallbladder cancer which is quite rare and aggressive. I feel the same as you, me and my mother are so close and I’m so scared and also cry by myself as I don’t want to in front of the rest of my family. If you’d be happy to I think talking to someone going through the same thing will help. 

Hi Ewill, thank you for your reply and I am so sorry to hear about your mum's diagnosis too, sending my thoughts and hugs to you. 

It's so hard and difficult isn't it, someone you love and care for, everything has turned upside down. 

It's been a bit of a tough few days, she's still in hospital they're trying to fit a stent in her stomach to try let food a drink go through. But yesterday they tried but it somehow failed, they are going to try again next week through another way. And she is a quiet and private person, is not talking much to any doctors or nurses. It's been difficult seeing others eating they're meals, while mum still not able to drink yet, broke my heart she thought that she had it done but didn't tell her afterwards. My Dad found out when he spoken to a nurse. Feel like it's going to be a tough weekend when nothing gets done much.  

I'm trying to be supportive and be strong for Mum and family. I also have 2 friends I've been talking to for support, they've been amazing!

If you ever want to chat, I'm always here if want to talk about anything x

Hi Cazgirl

I wanted to reach out to you as have been going through a similar situation myself.

We noticed at the end of the summer (i hadn't seen my mum for 4 weeks) that she had lost a massive amount of weight.  she went downhill quickly and just getting anyone on the medical side.  After finally getting her into hospital they confirmed large amounts of calcuim in her blood was making her so unwell.

She has had biopsies and the drs met this week to discuss treatment.  I don't know what will happen and feel very scared of the prospect of the future but wanted to let you know im in a similar boat of not knowing how to feel or function if you wanted to chat,

xx