Husband with Bowel and Liver Cancer

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Hello All,

I'm a new member. Just plucked up the courage to join.

My husband has been diagnosed with Bowel and Liver cancer. Everyone thinks I'm coping but inside I'm really not. I'm struggling to keep everything going - juggling is the best way to describe things right now. He has suffered various infections recently and our Consultant has paused his chemo until he is well enough to resume his treatment. He has been in and out of hospital and it's me who has to make the decision to call 999 - sepsis on each occasion. It's so frightening. I work 50 hours a week and try and WFH but my job is pressure and I can't afford not to work! We don't have much sleep - no doubt most of you are experiencing something very similar.

Sorry for sounding so weak but I have no one else to turn to.

I just feel I'm sinking under the pressure. Is this normal or do people gain the extra inner strength we all hear about? I get into the car or take out our dog and just let myself cry. I paint back on a brave face and return as though I'm ok.

Any thoughts or advice or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

sistermoon over 1 year ago

Hi Backstage

I'm sorry to read of your husband's diagnosis and hospital admissions for sepsis. He must be feeling quite weak and tired after that plus his cancer. It must be hard for you trying to care for him and trying to work long hours. I think you may need to think about trying to access some help.

Have you talked to your GP about your situation? Have you thought about ringing the Macmillan helpline? They are excellent at providing information and support. They can tell you about benefits and financial support and have welfare rights advisors who make sure you're not missing out on anything you're entitled to. They can also help you find out if you are eligible for alternative sources of support or services. Macmillan can also offer confidential emotional support, even if all you need is a listening ear. I am going to list below some carers support agencies that may be able to help you.

Carers trust www.carers.org.uk Tel 0300 772 9600

Carers UK www.carersuk.org.uk Tel 0808 808 7777

How does your husband feel about his diagnosis. Maggie's centres offer support and courses, if he is well enough. I have a different type of cancer and know of the physical and mental effects of trying to cope day to day. I hope that this reply is of some help to you. Best regards.

A x

Backstage over 1 year ago in reply to sistermoon

Thank you so much for your kind words and support.

My husband is so positive and seriously believes he is going to carry on forever - what a wonderful way of looking at things and we are lucky for his attitude, I realise that. I am trying hard to support and be positive too and yes, your reply is really helpful and much appreciated. I will contact the numbers you have given to me.

I have had a chat with a director today in my office and he hadn't realised how bad things really are. He was supportive, which is helpful.

Thank you x

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