Feeling Guilty

Hi Locket2 welcome to the forum and I am so very sorry to hear what has happened for you and your mum. Cancer does strange things to not just the person with Cancer but to other family members and on occasion friends as well. Its easy to lose the normal thought and behaviour we all usually have when we are faced with this beast. 

I think maybe ask to see your mum and have a chat with her, be honest, open and up front and if need be apologise for what was said on your part and move on from it and hopefully your mum will be receptive to that and I suspect that she will.    It may feel a bit stilted to begin with but I always find that  giving each other time to express our feelings and  other person hearing them,  whether we like what's said or not, makes talking a bit easier  and a simple hug goes a long way.

Don't leave it too long to try to resolve this it not gona be useful to you or your mum, so sooner might be best .

 Don't be too hard on yourself and I'm sending some huge big hugs for you for now.    

Thank u so much for your reply, i had been driving round last night in a state as my mum and i live together and i didnt want to go home but had nowhere to go.  My mum has had breast cancer in 2021 and now lung cancer.  She had a lobectomy in May but has really struggled with the pain and been hospitalised twice with pneumonia since her op. The last time they were worried about sepsis which was just awful.  My brother also had a brain anuerysm last year and  i think it all just got a bit too much this week.  I know there are people in worse situations or who have lost their loved ones which is so awful and i just dont know how they manage to cope.  I think it must just be the tiredness that made me snap but you feel so ashamed afterwards.  Thank u again for your reply, im sure we will make up.