6 months ago my daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer - 24 years ago, at exactly the same age as her so was I. It was a lobular cancer and I was given an immediate double mastectomy and my life returned to a degree of normality. Unfortunately my daughter was misdiagnosed for over a year and by the time she was finally diagnosed her cancer had spread to her lymph nodes. She's undergone a hard 6 rounds of chemotherapy which sadly hasn't worked at all. The oncologist wants to start genetic testing to protect both my grand I'm daughter and great grand daughter - I believe it goes beyond coincidence that she has exactly the same (uncommon) cancer, in exactly the same place in her breast and at exactly the same age. I will be honest that at the moment it's not looking good for her. I KNOW there is no way I could have known I was a carrier of a faulty gene, my own Mother died of cancer but all that showed on her death certificate was "extensive carcinoma", going through mortality rates on my Fathers side of the family a lot of the women died really young but no records of the reason were kept.
I'm doing everything I can to care and support her but in my mind it's just not enough, the stress is affecting me mentally and physically and at 80 I wonder how long I can go caring for her, she cannot avoid seeing my weight loss which I cant hide, the emotional trauma I'm managing to hide with the aid of medication. However she is an hours drive away and there's no other way to get to her. I am scared of driving while medicated so have to time every journey almost to the minute to know everybody else on the motorway is safe!
It just seems to wrong that I'm well and she isn't.
Sorry to dump this on you - there's nobody else!
Hi Ladyblue
Sorry to read about both you and your daughter. Some diseases including some forms of cancer have a link to a faulty gene but of course there is a question in testing of what someone then does with the information.
I wonder if you have had a carers assessment to make sure you get the support you need to be the best for your daughter you can be and with a needs assessment make sure your daughter gets what she needs too.
You talk of the emotional trauma - this is realy common and if we look at your feelings when someone has cancer we can stee how common that is and I am sure your daughter knows how you feel.
As for "dumping on us" - well that is why we are here and when we support each other we all become stronger.
<<hugs>>
Steve
