My mum was in the McMillan Palliative care unit and we were both coming to terms with the fact she is end of life. She is 90 and has womb and stomach cancer diagnosed a month ago. Last week her consultant said she had to leave the hospital as they need the beds. They gave me a choice of three nursing homes, I chose what seemed the best of a bad lot but I didnt want her to go and neither did she. we had no choice. She is now so unhappy and hates where she is, she feels they dont care, says she is neglected it is awful. She is so lonely and sad. I do my best but I am a single mum to an autistic child so my time is limited. I visit daily and it is devastating as she begs me to get her out of there. I have tried everything, complained to the home management and to the hospital, no one seems to care. They just say this is it, she is in the home and she will die there whether she likes it or not. I rang McMillan but they couldn't help either. It is destroying me seeing her so very unhappy and to die in this way, utterly miserable. I want to help but there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to change things. I wish she could have stayed in the McMillan unit.
I just wondered if anyone had any advice or experience of this situation. x
Hi debs66
Sorry to hear about your mum. You noted there is no choice but that does not make it easier as you have so many calls on your tine. I certainly get some of that since I also have a son with autism.
With both my dad and my wife's dad they ended up in care homes. Never what we wanted but we just did not have the resource to provide the 24/7 care they needed at home.
I wish I had more advice I could give you because it sounds so difficult for you and I can hear how much you care.
<<hugs>>
Steve
