I know I won't be alone in this but my heart is being torn to shreds. My big sis has terminal cancer and has been given 4-6 months to live though she is getting worse very quickly and an operation they did to help seems to have made things worse. She has told me she's had enough and wants to go, she's done a DNR which I understand. I have accepted I'm losing her and while that hurts what is really tearing me apart is watching her suffer so much.
Maybe part of it is also the feeling of uselessness, I can't do anything to help, I can't do anything to take some pain away. I do what I can but it's not enough, for myself at least.
I'm not even sure why I'm posting this, I doubt if anyone can help and I think I'm just venting. My sister is/was a specialist oncology nurse, she spent over 30 years helping people with cancer and then this, life eh, why does it do such bad things to good people and my sster is good people, she's the best of my family.
I manage to stay strong when I'm with her but when I'm not, I'm a wreck. I walked out of my job last Friday, all I want to is cry. I've reached out for help, spoken to the doctor but I feel like I'm falling apart, I feel like my world is falling apart.
