Hi everyone, not sure what to type really as I’m feeling quite numb at the moment just feel like I need to get this off my chest though.
so my dad has an oesophageal tumour at the joint (rear of his stomach) and was having surgery yesterday to remove his stomach completely! Major op and long road of recovery ahead.. at this point they said he was early stage 3
however when they Opened him up they discovered that infact it was too much of a risk to life to remove it as it has attached itself to the vessels of the colon. So operation was abandoned and he will have a meeting with oncology to discuss going forward. He’s moved to stage 4 palliative and most likely will try different chemo to find one that suits and hopefully at least will keep it under control.
FLOT before his op didn’t work and it actually spread a bit further.
suppose I’m just wondering if anyone has been through or going through the same thing and has any advice on how to support him through this journey. He’s always been so positive about it all though and is going to fight the ###_ out of it!!
Hello Tinydancer
I am so sorry that you and your Dad are going through this. It must have come as a shock to you both that during surgery that they could not continue with the original plan. I can understand you feeling numb and needing to get it off your chest. There is no right or wrong way to feel in these circumstances. If you feel talking it through would help then the Support Line number is at the bottom of this and they are lovely on there.
I see that there is a meeting planned with the oncologist to see what treatment is best. Although Dad has had FLOT and it didn't work for him before the surgery, there are other types of chemo that he may be offered to help control the cancer. There are also other treatments such as targeted therapies or radiotherapies that can help control the cancer and to reduce symptoms. I understand that it has been a big set back to find that the surgery wasn't possible. Hopefully the oncologist will be able to go through the treatments that they feel are best for Dad and to be able to answer any questions that you both have.
Your Dad sounds a fighter and you say that he has been positive through all this so far so that I am sure will count a bit in his favour. I am sure that Dad has really been helped by your support so far.
I hope that the meeting with the oncologist goes well. Please do let us know if there is anything else we can do to support either of you.
Jane
Never worry about what to say if you think calling would help. Just say that your Dad has cancer and you just feel like you want to talk about it. I know it doesn't take away what has happened but sometimes it just feels better to tell someone about it and sometimes that is easier to talk to people you don't know. I understand that you don't want Dad to know you are worried. Feeling angry and think why me is also normal but its still rubbish. You may feel that as you can't change anything that you just have to ride the journey- but you don't need to ride it on your own.
I hope that when Dad has had the meeting with the oncologist and is given a better idea of what treatment lies ahead that things will feel a bit more in control. The unknown is really hard.
If there is anything that we can do to support you or your Dad- you know where we are.
Jane
