Sorry for the long post.
H all, My Mum has been diagnosed with bowel cancer, she's had a bowel resection, where the tumour was removed and she's been told she will need chemo.
She having tests that will determine what type of chemo and how for long.
I was hoping for some advice/insight as my issue is that she will not talk about the cancer at all.
Nothing, at all, she won't discuss it, the treatment or anything. It's like she trying to pretend it isn't happening.I dont actually know how her cancer has been classified for instance.
Problem is this, it's causing issues. She's not filling out the information needed for her appointments, she's not complying with the medical instructions for her recovery, leading to her already being hospitalised twice in 4 weeks post operation. When I was with her in the Hospital last time, the consultant asked her what she thought/wanted about her treatment options etc, her response was I'll do what you advise!
She told me at the beginning of her original diagnosis, she was worried she wouldn't get treatment because of her age, she's mid 70s, and then she was beside herself at the prospect of having to have a stoma. Neither of these have come to pass, but she's now shut down. It's like dealing with a toddler who covers their ears and shouts la la la, whenever I try to talk about her illness.
I think it's important we discuss things and I'm getting so frustrated because I love her, I understand that she is very scared, I want her to beat this and have many more years with us but it seems she's hell bent on sabotaging her recovery chances despite wanting to beat it.
Can anyone shed some light on this?
Thank you x
Hi LadyV73
Sorry to hear about your mum, there can be all sorts of reasons that people do not want to talk about their cancer ranging from denial to trying to protect others.
What might be helpful is to look at our pages on talking about cancer
One of the challenging aspects early in my wife's cancer journey was that she was very clear she did not want a prognosis and I really struggled with that - many years down the line I realised how a prognosis is just a guess and has no real meaning at all - she was right.
<<hugs>>
Steve
