Hi, I'm new. Husband was just diagnosed yesterday.

Hello Tiggy Winkle

Welcome to the Online Community. I hope that you and your husband will find it as supportive and informative as I have done.

I am so sorry to hear of your husbands cancer diagnosis. It must have come as a shock to you both and I expect your emotions are all over the place at the moment. There is no right or wrong way to feel and all I can recommend from my own experiences is to go with the flow, accept that there will be times when you feel low and to reach out for support when you need it. Tears are natural and are not a sign of weakness but an expression of feelings. I am sorry that you did not sleep well. It is understandable and you both need time to process what has happened.

Do not feel guilty about how you are feeling. It is hard to support someone you love going through a difficult time and you naturally need support yourself. I am sorry to hear about your son and also your anxiety and depression. Losing your home as well. You have faced more that most and it is understandable that you do not feel recovered from either. 

I am going to pop some links here that you may feel like looking at when you feel up to it. 

The community is divided into forums and there are some that may be of help to you and your husband as they are for people sharing some of your circumstances.

(+) Bowel (colon and rectal) cancer forum - Macmillan Online Community

(+) Secondary liver cancer forum - Macmillan Online Community

(+) Carers only forum - Macmillan Online Community

Colon cancer booklet | Macmillan Cancer Support- This booklet is some general information about Bowel cancer and also about some of the treatments that your husband may be offered. I found it better myself to stick to the Macmillan information which is regulated rather than using google. 

For any medical questions I can recommend the Ask a Nurse section. They would normally reply within 3 working days. 

(+) Ask a Nurse - Macmillan Online Community

And finally the Support Line is good if you want quicker answers to any questions or if you just feel like talking to someone will help. They are lovely on there and will understand. The number is below if you feel like it would help.

I hope this helps a bit. I am sorry that you are both having to go through this and please do ask if there is anything that we can do to help.

Jane

Thank you Jane.  X

Hello. I just wanted you to know you are not alone. My husband was diagnosed with Stage 4 gallbladder cancer mid April, it’s spread to stomach and lymph node. We are about to start chemo for first time which is palliative. Like you I’ve had/do have all these feelings, I feel destroyed at times and wonder where the strength will come from for me, for him and for our children aged 15 and 22. I don’t have the answers, but just wanted to reach out to say, I don’t know how we will do it, but we will. So this is a hug for you, and for anyone else reading who is going through the same. I feel like we are living in a parallel cancer universe to everyone else, but reading these forums, I know there are many like us. So far, I’ve been just trying to live the day I’m in, and to try to put in things I know will make me feel even a wee bit better. A swim - water outside is my happy place- and am blessed to have friends who I can connect with. It doesn’t change what we are facing, but it does help a bit. Sometimes I almost forget, distracted by everyday stuff, but not for long. Like you, I’m so mindful it’s happening to him, but it is also happening to us too and that matters. Please try to take care of you too. 

Hi Swim 49, and thank you. Today was particularly stressful so please forgive me for not writing a longer response. I feel shell-shocked. Take care, and I'm so sorry you are going through the same things. X

No apologies needed! That’s exactly how it feels. Like a bomb going off in the life you have, and the life you thought you would have. Be gentle with yourself, you are going to feel all the feelings. Are you near a Maggies Centre? They are awesome, and have support face to face for family, as well as the person with cancer? Macmillan are also Awesome with a phone line to call, if you feel up to it. We need support too. I’ll be on here, let me know how you are. X 

Don't know about a Maggie's Center. I will look into that, thank you. And yes, I would love to connect with you. It would really help. X