My family member has been diagnosed with advanced cancer. Geographically and emotionally there has sadly been distance between us for years. So much so that I don't know how, where, or what will help either them or me. I feel so distant, but in so much pain about it all. I would like to talk things through with their consultant, but their partner has everything in hand and it feels like I am being excluded or shielded from the hard medical reality of things. It's hard to talk about it with my family member. I am so wanting to be involved but feeling guilty too. Help!
Hi Akena welcome to the forum. It is so difficult for us when others are involved in making decisions with the person and maybe excluding others as I think we all have that desire to know what is happening and how can we help. However, sometimes there is just nothing to do but respect their choices and how they are choosing to handle situations even if we don't always agree with them or wish things could be different. Unfortunately you would not be able to speak to the persons Consultant without the express permission of the person involved as the Consultant is bound by Confidentiality.
Don't feel guilty at least you are in touch with them and they know that you care and thta YOU are there if they wanted to talk and that means a lot in the situation I'm sure. Why not send a care telling them that you are thinking of them or send some flowers to cheer them up maybe?
gail
