Tips on letting it out

I am so sorry you and your mum have to go through this. The strength you both have is something I will try to remember when I feel weak. I feel the pain of feeling your rock become unsteady in its stability, of feeling like your safety and comfort could be lost. My mum is my rock too. Whenever I imagine life without her I can’t quite describe the pain that fills me physically and emotionally. Almost two weeks ago, my mum was diagnosed with lung cancer. She is 68 and I am 25, and it’s been my biggest fear my whole life of losing her, as I’ve always been aware of her slightly older age than a lot of my peers. I thought because I’d always worried about it, it couldn’t possibly happen, especially because she’s already had her share of cancer before I was born. I also don’t feel like 25, I feel and act a lot younger and my mum supports me a lot emotionally but also with daily tasks. I know it is really hard to know how to express the pain and sadness when the person you usually go to is the person going through this cruel anguish. I find myself holding it in all day (apart from when I’m driving, then I cry and cry) until I get home in the evening, and then I feel it all hit me, right when I want to stay strong and upbeat for my mum. I’m so sorry you’ve been back and forth with hope and then renewed fear. You are so strong, but you’re allowed to let yourself crumble sometimes too. You don’t have to hold it all together all the time. Crying is good, but I know it can be hard because it can make it feel more real. But bursts of tears throughout the day can help soothe that deep emotional pain that wants to be felt xx

Sorry that didn’t really answer your question :(

Im very sorry to hear about your mummy has she a treatment plan in place?

I’m only 30, 25 when my mum 1st got diagnosed, so completely understand your fears of losing your mum while you are still young. My mum is only 48 . I’m a single mum with two small boys and she really is my rock and support while raising them. Even while sick she supports me so much when it should be me supporting her. 

I do the car thing too, sometimes I just take myself out for a drive to have a cry. But it’s at the point crying isn’t working. I feel like I need to take up boxing or something and let a lot of frustration out. 

If you ever need to talk I’m here, our situations seem very similar ️