Mum Lymphoma ? Awaiting diagnosis

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Hello

1st post - mum just diagnosed with probable lymphoma alongside COPD all in her lungs and around the area. Medical teams are so very siloed when they start to work - all of this doesnt help mum when she wants a bit of breathing relief. X wont do Y before D say what E are doing etc. Plus as much as I try to understand for her its such a lot. I cant manage the simple things - shes not eating or drinking enough - the medical teams dont seem to be worried about her not eating - no one has prescribed anhy supportive drinks for example and the ones I bring in mum isnt interested. Any suggestions for food to encourage eating - or what to say ? I feel useless. I know she isnt going to ultimately recover but she could possibly have some treatment and come home for her last weeks and Im scared she will just give up as its like shes lost control of her little world with me and the cat. I just want to bring her home . xx

sistermoon over 1 year ago

Hi doesitsay

Hello and welcome to the friends and family forum. I'm sorry to hear of your mum's diagnosis, I'm assuming she is in hospital at the moment. It's very hard waiting for test results or to be seen by different speciality doctors before any decisions are made. It may be worth asking your mum what her wishes are and to start making a plan for it. This may help you feel a bit more in control. How long has your mum been in hospital? Will she need palliative care? Would she like to be at home, if so, will you need carers etc. Would she like to be in a hospice? These are all things that you both need to decide. If you don't feel you are getting anywhere with the doctors, could you request a meeting with them or that mum is seen by an oncologist. These are all just suggestions as it is difficult to ascertain where you are in decisions.

As for eating and drinking, if your mum is very poorly, sometimes the body doesn't need it and if she has pain/ difficulty breathing, she may not feel like it. If you wanted to try to tempt her, I would suggest small trifles or custards, something that doesn't take effort but is calorie laden. As for what to say, I would just talk about ordinary things, nothing too demanding.

If your mum would like to be at home, I will list below some carers charities and also palliative care support,

Carers Trust www.carers.org.uk

Carers UK www.carersuk.org.uk

Hospice UK www.hospiceuk.org

Marie curie www.mariecurie.org.uk

I hope this information helps and that in the few days since you posted, that there have been some answers and decisions made for your mum's care. Best wishes to you at this difficult time.

A x

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