Mum, now brother.

Hi Emygre 

It does seems sometimes life is just trying to get at us and with cancer it can often seem very unfair - and it is.

Hopefully your brother will respond well to treatment and hopefully with your counsellor you will be better yourself and that will be great for you both.

We are here for you too and so thank you for sharing.

<<hugs>>

Steve 

Thanks so much for your reply. Much appreciated.  I know I am not the only one dealing with this disease. We all respond differently.  I was beating myself up over my reaction. I have literally been in fight or flight for 2 weeks and became quite hysterical. Couldn't think, eat, sleep. Crying all the time. Went to the doctor because I couldn't function in my daily life. Just couldn't calm myself down. Was given an antihistamine and beta blockers short term to lower my heart rate. Rung Mcmillan nurse and taken some days off work. Feeling a bit less wired but know this is just a temporary solution. Doing Thai chi, mindfulness etc.  Not very good at acceptance.  Which is the opposite of my brother who ended up trying to peel me off the ceiling. Feel awful for him. I should be trying to make him feel better,  not the other way round. I have always been a very emotional, obsessive depressive and fight reality when it doesn't suit me. I pray for the strength to accept and not be so self absorbed.