Hi All.
At my wits end here. My OH was diagnosed with Cancer in Feb. We still don't have a full diagnosis yet, but last week he had a double tonsillectomy and more biopsys taken.
Since then he's been so difficult to live with and I feel SO guilty thinking/saying it.
Nothing I do is right. Nothing I say is right. He's snappy and, quite frankly, nasty.
I'm doing my best to bite my tongue, and tell myself he doesn't mean it and that he must be going through hell, buts it's hard.
At the weekend, he pushed me so far that I just grabbed my car keys and left for a few hours.
I don't feel like I want to confide in family, because I don't want to slag him off and I also don't want them to think bad of him.
I feel selfish for thinking "this is affecting me too, but I'm not being nasty".
I feel selfish for thinking that he might be able to actually care about me during this, but he doesn't seem able to.
If I call him out he says "I know this affects you too", but then his actions don't reflect it.
Does anyone have any tips for dealing with this?
I'm getting to the point where I am dreading spending time at home, because I'm living on eggshells and constantly biting my tongue.
Hi MrsHop22 welcome to the forum and I am so very sorry to hear how difficult things are for you just now.
First things first, you are not it any way selfish, this is an awful situation for you as well and you are trying as best you can to deal with this and thats not easy at all. It must be very difficult for him as he may be very frightened and doesn't know how to talk about things. Is that a possibility? I think you are right to speak to him about his behaviour as otherwise he doesnt realise what effect he is having for you as well. Would he consider having a word with this GP about how he feels?
Would you feel able to give the Macmillan Line a call and having a chat with them as they have buddy schemes that maybe they could put you in touch with and it may alos help you to sound off to someone other than family. 08088080000.
I think it is vital that you make time for some time out for you ,like a coffee with friends or a walk or some retail therapy and that means that you have some time out form home and may be enough to make you feel better about being at home.
Sending some hugs your way for now. xxx
gail
