Hi all. Just reeling a bit as my beloved dad had his biopsy results today and it’s a very rare form of aggressive bladder cancer.
He’s only really unwell since August and there’s been a lot of rubbish stuff that has happened during that time - missed blood test results by the gp, scans being marked as non-urgent etc - that I feel could’ve made some difference, but I guess we may never know.
Anyway, it’s looking like we only have months. So part of me always knew this was coming, but part of me kept thinking ‘perhaps they’ve got it wrong?’. Even today there’s still a voice in my head saying “maybe he’ll make it for a few years…”, whilst I’m crying. I don’t know if this is like a survival mechanism so I can carry on with day to day life, but it is just as my brain is split in two.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for here, just needed to get things down I guess.
Hi AM123
You are very normal - if we just look at Your feelings when someone has cancer we can see a whole range of emotions we might find. Sometimes it can be helpful to just acknowledge the feeling and that "I am not alone" can be quite helpful. I know sometimes I felt disconnected from the "real" world - but then realised that this cancer thing is rather common - still rubbish but not alone.
It is funny somehow how sharing things in type like this can help, but somehow it does - so thanks for posting.
<<hugs>>
Steve
