Hi, I’ve come here because i don’t know what to do, my wife is 36 year old and I’m 30, she’s my whole world, we have 3 children, 2 of which are my wifes from a previous relationship who are 13 and 14, then 1 we have together who’s 7, so i went to hospital today to visit her, i miss her so much when I’m at home with the kids, it’s hard aswell trying to go to work but be there for her and the children, when I saw her today she smiled but was soon followed by crying, I tried to play it down, I told her until we know it’s cancer she’s not to think like that but I felt awful, I managed to stop her crying which is what I wanted but I feel like I’m lying to her, I was smiling with her but my insides felt like they had been ripped out, I have lost friends to suicide and I’ve seen what’s left behind, I would never do that because I couldn’t leave the children without a dad if anything happened to my wife which I really hope it doesn’t, she changed my life, I can honestly say if I hadn’t of met her I would of been dead by now, I was a cocaine user and I had ended up in hospital with that before. I feel like I’m waffling and for that I apologise, I just have a million things going round my head, what happens to her children if anything happens to her, I love them to bits and I wouldn’t want them separated, I’m trying to think positive but it’s so hard, I feel like I’ve got to prepare for the worst, I went and sat in the bathroom and had to hide that I was crying from my son, I want to be there for her the best I can but I need pointing in the right direction if anyone can help me I’d be forever grateful
Hi Alw1992
Sorry to hear about your wife and the worries you are going through. That time between a biopsy and getting the results is really tricky where we cannot be sure one way or the other. If it were a cancer though we must remember how many of these are curable or at least controllable - in my wife's cancer her cancer has been stable for about 7 years now - and her oncologist is amazed.
For the children it will be well worth talking to their schools as they can often put in support to help them there. I know our sons school was helpful both to him and me too,
I mostly did my crying in the shower but when I broke I finally went to get support in my local Maggies. They helped me form a near time plan when I got help looking after me - because I could not really help anyone in the state I was. Then found Macmillan - the staff on the phone line are great too.
If we look at Your feelings when someone has cancer we see how common our feelings are and just perhaps that can help us feel a little less alone. It might also help to look at Talking to children and teenagers
Finger crossed for you.
<<hugs>>
Steve
