It's been over a year since my Mum was diagnosed with incurable breast cancer, and I still don't know how to grieve. I want to cry but I can't. Instead I numb myself with pornography and alcohol. I've been in bed all day and haven't eaten anything.
How do I process this grief? I thought I had learnt how to live with this but I don't know now. Spending time with my Mum triggered these feelings of grief again. It felt like I had a sudden realisation that my time with her is running out. It was like reality hit me in the face and I feel just as crushed as the day I found out she couldn't be cured.
Does this ever get easier? Living with a parent who has a ticking time bomb inside her? How the hell am I supposed to do that and live a healthy, happy life for myself?
I'm in so much emotional distress and I can't process it. Please help me.
Hi scorpi
I wonder if this blog on anticipatory grief might help you understand some of what you are going through. There is of course no right or wrong answer at a time like this.
I did not speak to anyone for sometime when my wife was ill but eventually I broke and found help. Initially it was Maggies but then Macmillan and both helped me when I am down and even helped me to help others.
<<hugs>>
Steve
