Hi I’m new here, and I’ve recently decided I need to start talking about how I’m feeling before I lose my mind… not that I even know how I am really feeling. as a background, I am a mother two a nearly 3 year old and an 18 month old. my mum was diagnosed last June with cancer in her spine (she had struggled previously with back pain and she had been to doctors and physio before finally finding out it was cancer), in her pelvic bone and in her lung. It has always been known to be terminal as it’s in the bone.. it’s now in her brain, she has over 60 mestaties.
she’s bed bound, having to be fed by me or my dad the majority of the time…
she’s fed up and doesn’t want to do it anymore. How am I supposed to hear that? How am I supposed to listen to my mum cry and fell me she wants to die? That she doesn’t want to be here anymore?
my heart is so broken. I feel so suffocated. But I have two children. no matter what and no matter how much it hurts and consumes me - I can’t let my head get beneath the water. I’m afraid I’d never breathe again.
Your mum did not raise a fool but you are coping really well with an incredibly difficult situation. Have you got any help, you are entitled to a carers assessment from your local authority.
Well done for reaching out on here, we know how difficult it can be and remember if you need to speak to someone then you are always welcome to phone our helpline too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
