Coping

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Hi,

I have recently found out my mother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer and there is no treatment, just to be made comfortable. This has happened all so fast, just under 9 weeks and I am struggling to process my feelings and thoughts.

How do you deal with this? What is there to help? I just feel so out of touch and lost and angry. I don't know what to do. How do you learn to prepare for your mum's death? What kind of human response do you learn to deal with that?! It's so unfair

Any advice would be greatly appreciated and supported

AM123 over 2 years ago

Hi. I’m so sorry to hear about your mum and I wish I had some answers for you, but can certainly empathise as I’m in the same position with my dad.
It feels like my life has just stopped now because everything going forward from here has just been ripped away and I have no idea how to cope with this. Sending you virtual hugs.

Lizk over 2 years ago

My mum also had a recent diagnosis. There is no treatment available for her. Unfortunetaly she has become more poorly these last few weeks and today the GP visited and gave me prescriptions for the antisipatory drugs for the district nurses who will be coming in to review her more often .All this information has been very difficult today to say the least. I'm my mums carer, no siblings so I'm off sick from work at the moment. I'm a nurse but she's my mum and I feel quite helpless at the moment.

Tmf over 2 years ago in reply to Lizk

My mam has stage4 lung cancer non smoker all her life. All treatment options have been looked at. She currently has a portable chest drain which is being drained everyday. She is getting more Breathless everyday. I also feel life has stopped, I took some time from work to spend more time with her. It’s torture as I keep waiting for the phone call that she has passed away every night, ( my younger sister lives with her she has autism so communication about mymam is often limited) since having time off work I feel worse as all I’m thinking about is my mam. Not sure whether to go back to work and try and get on like normal but I know my mam is deteriorating. I feel Guilty as I feel if she was to passed away it would be a blessing as watching her getting breathless is torture for her as she is scared. So unsure what best thing to do as not sure how long she has left. Due back at work 3rd December not sure whether to be there or with my mam.

src60 over 2 years ago

Hi Alyssa

Struggling with a cancer diagnosis is difficult at the best of times. If we look at Your feelings when someone has cancer I know I see lots of things that can help me recognize now "normal" these feelings are.

Often we go though something we refer to as anticipatory grief and that can get in the way of making the most of how things are now.

<<hugs>>

Steve

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