Hi All,
I'm new to the community and hoping I'm in the best forum to ask for advice on how to help my Mum.
She has recently been diagnosed with secondary Breast Cancer which has now spread to her lungs a year after being given the all clear on her original HER2 positive Breast Cancer.
Last week she saw a consultant who specialises in Lung cancer (as at that stage there were unsure if it was secondary) and his opinion was there would be a couple of different treatment options available but as it was secondary Breast cancer in her lungs she was referred back to the team that supported her last year.
She met with one of Breast Cancer consultants a couple of days ago who has said that the treatment review panel are advising that no treatment should take place as she struggled to tolerate chemotherapy last year and she has permanent peripheral neuropathy already which has affected her feet and mobility. The reduction in her quality of life would outweigh any benefits.
She has to decide if she wants follow their advice or go against it and ask for treatment. The consultant was not willing to provide any kind of estimate as to life expectancy or share any statistics and although I do understand that every patient will be different and it's impossible to accurately predict something like this but I just feel there is a massive difference between 2 months and a few years. Sadly my Mum will not be the first or last person in this sort of situation, surely there are statistics that potentially could be helpful for making the decision.
How on earth do we discuss this heartbreaking advice and help her to decide what to do? At the moment we're all just still in shock so not really started discussing it yet but we will need to very soon and I don't know where to start and how to help her.
Any thoughts would be most appreciated.
Hi TDY and welcome to our community.
When my wife was diagnosed with Leiomyosarcoma she was very clear she did not want a prognosis and I really struggled with that. Six years of living with cancer though has helped to convince me how wise she was - they are a best a guess and nobody would have guessed how she would respond. Janice's cancer is rare and so statistics are almost meaningless for us.
Presumably you have seen the main site on breast cancer, would it be worth considering if some of the other treatments might be possible.
For you of course you get dragged along on this trip and the best you can do is help support any decision your mum might take, that can be especially hard. Sometimes it can feel that the patient did not make a decision you feel comfortable with and dealing with that can be very difficult.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Many thanks Steve. I do have questions that I'm wanting to ask about other treatments but my fear is they will have already been considered and discarded but I'll absolutely still be asking.
Wishing many good years together for you, your wife and family 
